My Grandma said, “Kippy (She called me Kippy. Her name was Francesca Addotta) she said Kippy, once you have a man’s penis in your hand (Why she was telling me this I’ll never know) But, everyone stopped eating and someone wheeled her out of the room. I was the strangest Thanksgiving Dinner I’ve ever sat through!

My Grandma’s Advice

The last time I tried to have sex my eyes watered, they burned, my chest got tight and it was difficult to breath! So I went to the doctor and had some tests. The results came back. It was the Pepper Spray!

Kip Addotta on The Last Time I Tried To Have Sex

There are so many Cats and Kittens on Facebook my computer is beginning to smell like a Litter Box!

Cats & Kittens

On my walk this morning I took a different route and found myself in fronk of a barber shop I havn’t been to in years. I poked my head in and asked, “Bob Peters here?” Without looking up a barber said. “No, just shaves and haircuts!”

If you’re going to rob Peter to pay Paul you should be especially nice to Peter!

Robbing Peter

I dreamt that I was being prepared for open heart surgery and out of the corner of my eye I see George Plimpton scrubbing up!

If you get this joke you may be as old as I am

I’ve always wondered about people who would spend their valuable time and money to sit in a room and watch a stand up comic. Then I realized. These people can’t dance!

Comedy Fans


09/17/2015 — Leave a comment

“I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.” – Will Rogers!

My parents didn’t like me. My father attached a mouse trap to my bicycle seat. My mother would poop in my diaper and blame it on me. When I took a bath they didn’t give me a rubber duck to play with. They would give me a toaster. But, I’ll never forget the day my dad taught me to swim. I thought I’d never get out of that sack!

My Sad Childhood

I asked Sheila (I think her name is Sheila, I called her Sheila and she didn’t say anything), I said, Sheila do you think I should get a hair piece, a toupee, some sort of thing to cover my bald spot? She said, “When I see a man wearing a toupee I see a man who is not willing to show me his true self. I see a discrepancy in his personality!” I said, well then I should probably take this sock out of my trousers. She said, “No, but you could move it around to the front!”

Hair Piece