There are so many Cats and Kittens on Facebook my computer is beginning to smell like a Litter Box!
On my walk this morning I took a different route and found myself in fronk of a barber shop I havn’t been to in years. I poked my head in and asked, “Bob Peters here?” Without looking up a barber said. “No, just shaves and haircuts!”
If you’re going to rob Peter to pay Paul you should be especially nice to Peter!
I dreamt that I was being prepared for open heart surgery and out of the corner of my eye I see George Plimpton scrubbing up!
I’ve always wondered about people who would spend their valuable time and money to sit in a room and watch a stand up comic. Then I realized. These people can’t dance!
“I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat.” – Will Rogers!
My parents didn’t like me. My father attached a mouse trap to my bicycle seat. My mother would poop in my diaper and blame it on me. When I took a bath they didn’t give me a rubber duck to play with. They would give me a toaster. But, I’ll never forget the day my dad taught me to swim. I thought I’d never get out of that sack!
I asked Sheila (I think her name is Sheila, I called her Sheila and she didn’t say anything), I said, Sheila do you think I should get a hair piece, a toupee, some sort of thing to cover my bald spot? She said, “When I see a man wearing a toupee I see a man who is not willing to show me his true self. I see a discrepancy in his personality!” I said, well then I should probably take this sock out of my trousers. She said, “No, but you could move it around to the front!”
When I die, I want to die peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather. Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car!
I like women!
I like all women! i like the tall ones, the short ones, the thin ones, the round ones and all the women in between.
I like all of women’s parts. I like their heads, necks, eyes, ears, noses, shoulders, arms, breasts, stomachs, hands, fingers, (even the tips) their butts, thighs, knees, shins, calves, ankles, feet, toes and hair or lack of hair. Yes, I like women’s elbows too!
As a matter of fact, even my mother was a woman and I liked her.
I like the way women think, smile, smell, eat, think, dress, listen, cook, feel and sleep. I like women of all colors, nationalities, religion, political beliefs, station in life and neighborhood. i have never met a woman that I didn’t like! If you have never had a woman, i recommend them highly!
If someone were to put a gun to my head and tell me that if I didn’t tell them something I didn’t like about women they would blow my head off, I would think for the longest of times and after much consideration, I would lean forward and without a sound, I would mouth the words, “Their voices!” But, I wouldn’t mean it…
I am Kip Addotta
Please comment on this at www.kipaddotta.com