Archives For February 2014


Christopher Titus has taken it upon himself to harass me and when I blocked him from my Facebook page, he posted on my web site that he had once worked with me at a Christmas party of people that did not understand english and although his set went well, even though he doesn’t speak asian. He went on to claim that when i went up after his set, I lost my temper withe the audience and called them Gooks. Then he states that he approached me after my set and said, “That was weird. and then he says that I said,”Get out of my way.” Then he went on to write that “I found a cocaine dealer and ,are a purchase.”

Let’s take this one at a time. I have never worked a Christmas party in my life, I did work a party sponsored by BP Oil and the audience was made up of mostly Hispanic men who did not speak English. There was no opening act so Mr Titus was not there. When I left no one approached me and said, That was weird.” I have never, in my life, said the words, “Get out of my way.” And, of course I wouldn’t call a group of Hispanic people Gooks. As far as Mr Titus’s claim that I went to a drug dealer and scored some blow, this is a complete fabrication. I had never been in this town before and couldn’t have found a Cocaine dealer of even a hardware store, for that matter.

Let me tell you what really happened to Mr Titus. For a while there was a man named O’Brian posing as me. He met a woman as me, he met her parents as me, he borrowed money from them as me and never paid them back as me! Mr Titus worked with him thinking it was me. So Christopher Titus please cease and desist from your campaign to slander my name or I will have the pleasure of introducing you to my lawyer. He loves Punks Like you!


I guess people have gotten used to seeing Jay Leno on The Tonight Show and have become blinded by the wool that has been pulled over their eyes. Jay Leno is the worst thing that has ever happened to the venerable, Tonight Show. When he got that job he closed the door behind him. He came to me once and volunteered that, “You should be on The Tonight Show but you’ll have to audition.” So, I swallowed my pride and auditioned and brought the house down with G rated material. Jay called me to say, “The producers thought I was too identifiable with the Carson years.” This was all bull roar. He simply wanter have me grovel for him and, then, turn me down. What a Dick!

Historically, The Tonight Show has had the purpose of bringing on personality that we know and love and new people that we should be aware of. If it were not for Johnny Carson, we would have never seen Freddy Prinze, Kelly Monteith, Steve Martin, Kip Addotta, Albert Brooks, David Brenner, David Steinberg, Jerry Seinfeld, (Oh I know you think that Jerry Seinfeld was on with Jay Jeno, but, those Jeno shows that you saw with Jerry Seinfeld were shot after Jerry Seinfeld was already a superstar) no, it was Mr, Carson that introduced Jerry, to the world) And most of those appearances Jerry made were shot for The Seinfeld Show and never actually aired on The Tonight Show.

When Jay Leno got the job of hosting The Tonight Show, he closed the door behind him. No more new people. Oh, he had six talent coordinators who were supposed to be looking for new talent, but all they did was collect a pay check and do nothing.

When you saw Jay hold up a copy of a book, someone had to shell out big money for that. When Jay had a new band on the show, their record company had to pay through the nose to make that happen. In other words Jay was “On The Take.” No young comic could afford that, so we didn’t see many of them. Oh, Jay had maybe six comics on the show a year, but only once and you never saw them again.

So, good bye, Mr Leno. Your time is over. Jimmy Fallon will be the first honest host of The Tonight Show since Johnny Carson. Jay Leno is dead and long life Jimmy Fallon!


I love the format of your site now.  Your stories only, responses
below.  And then the capacity to respond not only to you but to
others, I like that.  If my responding to those people bothers you in
any way, please let me know.  There is a reply button above
everyone’s post.  I like that.

I am able to get into your site with not much trouble – a bit of a wait, dial-up and all – and to post. If I send something separate from anything you have on your site, I
will send it directly to you, not the site.  But tonight I was in there and saw some of the responses to your feminization comments and that I could reply to them, and since I felt like I had something to say on the matter, I did.  Anyway, I like the format, clean and neat, not cluttered, nicely laid out.  Thanks.



In recent years I have observed that men are becoming more feminine and women are becoming more masculine. (I am not referring to Homosexuals) I am referring to a majority of heterosexual men and women.

I do not know why this is happening, but, here are some guesses. It may be that they are being influenced by the media to “Fit in” to a role they are seeing evolve, in the media. Men and women are watching characters that are morphing into the opposite gender of whatever they are. Don’t get me wrong. I see men and women who have the mannerisms of the male and female gender, but, to me there are an inordinate number of men and women who are not. I know this is confusing.

It could be that women have, now, moved up to the top, in the work place and the men under them feel like they should defer to them and are toning down their dominant role into a more subservient one and women, being in charge are morphing into all the things they claimed to dislike about men.

However, where men may or are more dominant, historically, than women, I am seeing that it must have been a guise on the females we were seeing. Maybe they were always more dominant than they let on. But, they are no longer “Sugar and Spice and everything Nice.”

Today, I encounter women who are proud of the fact that they know very little about running a home, cooking, cleaning, ironing and child rearing. And, men are doing more and more of these tasks and becoming good at them.

Maybe all of this is a good thing. I don’t know. I’m just saying!

Meeting Al Pacino

02/07/2014 — 1 Comment



Last night I went to one of my favorite watering holes. And,in my case I mean watering hole because that’s what I drink. I find that I am just as tall, witty, funny, good looking and annoying when I’m sober, as when I drink alcohol.

There was a buzz, in the air, about the fact that Al Pacino was in the house and indeed he was. People were trying to take pictures of him by holding their cell phones up and trying to  take his picture over their shoulders and shooting backwards. They were not having much success because the place was packed and someone would always be blocking their shot.

As it happened, I was out front when he was leaving with his lady escort and she sat down on one of the padded benches provided. Mr. Pacino (Looking Fantastic) was standing there, waiting for the car. I approached him and he shook my hand and I told him a story or two and had him laughing. His car arrived and he was about to get in and I said to him, “Mr. Pacino, please, before I die I want you to do one thing that I don’t like, one thing.” He said, “I’m not going to do it!” I said, “God Damn you.” and he laughed hardily and was still laughing when the car pulled away. I felt good.

I do not ask for peoples autograph or ask them to take a picture with me and that is why Inhave always had success when approaching them. This is a common thing people do and I want the celebrity to feel comfortable with me. I’m not looking to get anything from them but a little conversation.

My advice to you is the same. Don’t ask for things when you meet someone who is famous, don’t tell them that you’re a big fan. Simply enjoy a little conversation with them and save the memory of the meeting and the story you can tell.. In turn, they will remember you, for it.

We all know that if someone comes up and asks for a photo, it is only to seem more important to their friends. We really do not want to hear how wonderful we are and that you are our biggest fan. We want to meet you and hear something about you. Honest to God! (Please comment on this at my web site,


On Writing

02/06/2014 — 1 Comment


What am I going to write about? Will it be interesting to other people? Will it be good?

These are the questions we all ask ourselves when we sit down to write. I ask the same questions of myself. The fact is that everyone has a story and the secret is to be brutally honest, when writing. Don’t worry about what people will think.

I have a cousin who has a wonderful story to tell about the great women she is. However, she won’t write it because she is afraid that her children will read it. This is a common fear. Howerver, if she does write it she will only be admitting that she is imperfect and, in that, imperfection she will be letting her children know that she is not perfect and, in that, teach them that the imperfection IS the perfection of her story.

A writer must open up their chest and reveal the truth about themselves. As I sat down to write this I had no idea what I was going to write about, so I simply started typing. And out came this! I am certainly imperfect. I have done and said many things that I wish I could take back and am ashamed of. But, if I was afraid to expose it, then I would not be interesting.

I’m thinking back now trying to come up with an example. Let’s see. When I was an Alter Boy at St. Mary’s, one of my duties was to go through the congregation, with a basket, and collect the contributions. Well, I have never admitted this, but I would steal a portion of the money, from the basket. As I write this, a feeling of fear is coming over me. I am imbarassed and ashamed of myself for doing it and I feel terrible to have to admit it.

I feel that this is the worst thing I have ever done, in my life. I have anonymously paid back the money, but even that doesn’t make me feel better or erase the terrible thing I did. I am a jerk.

There it is. It’s out now. I know that people who read this will and should think less of me. I can only ask everyone for forgiveness. But I have yet to forgive myself,

Please comment on this on my web site,

Thank you


Mr. Hoffman is dead. Our friends at Entertainment Tonight are having a field day exposing every rumor about this poor man.

Philip Seymour Hoffman, was a man. Ladies and gentlemen, we do NOT have the right to know the intimate details of anyone’s life, even if they are public figures. How would you like Philip Seymour Hoffman to know about all the skeletons in YOUR closet.

I think we should be ashamed of ourselves for enjoying the crucifixion of a man by people wearing the guise of “The Concerned.”  I am so sick and tired of people who say, “Well he’s the one who wanted to be famous, so he shouldn’t expect his private life to be respected.

Ladies and gentlemen, what have we become? “Wash Women?” Aren’t we supposed to be evolving into better human beings? But, we are devolving into gossiping bystanders who feel entitled to know the worst sort of things that they can imagine.

I pay entertainers to entertain me. I do not care if they are straight, gay, black, white, liberals or conservative. They get paid to entertain me and that is all they owe me. I like Tom Cruise, because he is a great entertainer and works very hard at his craft.

Why can’t WE as a species be decent? I am embarrassed by all of us. Especially the self righteous people who are so quick to judge others. “I am the Lord thy God and the only one who can judge anyone.”

Look at us! We are the worst sort of beings on our planet.

Women's Equality

I am all for women’s equality to men. However, I am surprised that they’re willing to take the demotion. Women have been in control since the beginning of time.

Women rule the home and men have always been their muscrle. The female dictates when sex happens, what car we drive, the house we live in, what a man should wear, what time he should be home and how long his hair should be.

Women, when entering a bar expect a man to surrender his bar stool, buy her a drink and agree with everything she says.

Women had the right to vote for decades, but did not exercise that right (generally) until JFK ran for president. Sense then not one man with thinning hair has been elected to the office. Women are genetically coded to choose the alpha male when given the choice. I do not believe that they are aware of this, but, that is what they do every time. (in general) Our for-fathers knew this and that is why they excluded women from voting.

I am NOT suggesting that women shouldn’t vote! I am hoping that they (someday) realize this phinominum and take into consideration a persons capabilities to run for public office rather than vote, simply, on color, gender and looks. Just because a person is not handsome or pretty should not disqualify them from office.

Abraham Lincoln was not only homely, but even grotesque. And yet he is considered one of our most iconic leaders. (Deservedly or not) Thank you for reading this and PLEASE comment on it on MY web site.

No, women


The 2014 SuperBowl between The Denver Broncos and The Seattle Seahawks, held at The MetLife Stadium, East Rutherford, New Jersey, was not an exciting game but it was a surprise that the Seahawks won.

After their win the Seahawks fans, in Seattle, proceeded to riot, in the streets. They tipped cars over and set them afire, they broke store windows, fights broke out and generally caused havoc in the streets.

Of course, this was caused because they were drunk. people that drink, drink because they are afraid. .Afraid of socializing with other people, afraid that they are not witty enough, funny enough or just plain afraid. Then when they are sedated enough, they say and do stupid things that they would never have had the courage to do sober. I kow this because of my long experience in night clubs.

Nothing is made better when one is drunk. The idea that one is better at socializing when they drink is wrong. As a matter of fact, drinking makes one less sociable, less witty, less attractive and less likable, when they are drinking.

I once asked a piano player why he drank before his performance and he said “Because he plays better that way.” I skied him if he had ever played the piano without drinking. He said, “No.” I said, “Then how do you know your playing better?” He said, “I just do.”

In reality he had terrible stage fright and was anesthetizing himself to cover up his fear.

In our world, people believe that drinking is an inalienable right. Telling people theta they can’t drink caused riots, as was demonstrated during probation.

Also people who are drunk do not creat, they destroy. No one has ever built a monument or created a wonderful invention while they were drunk. No, they destroy things like relationships, friendships and peace.

I have used alcohol, in the past and have never been better at anything for it.

If you have the courage, try an experiment. Go out and don’t drink alcohol. Watch the people who are. You will  see that they are out of control and completely un-attractive, while you are in complete contra; of your faculties.

You will stand out, in the crowd, as someone who is very attractive and poised and in control. You will make a better impression, be more witty and make more money than ever before. I have spoken.


Last night I went to Dan Tana’s to watch the SuperBowl.  ! got there at 2PM and sat on the same stool that I have been sitting on for forty years.

At the commercial break, before the fourth quarter, I went out front to chat with some friends. When I returned to my bar stool, someone was sitting there, I ask him to move and he would not. I asked the bartender, Rafi, to tell the man that it was my bar stool and Rafi said, “I don’t want to get involved. I left, swearing that I would never return and I will not.

I will now call the owner and inform her that I will not be seeing her again!