Archives For April 2014

Kip AddottaMany people are totally frustrated and angry at the current political situation. Many people are fed up with the politics as usual and the polarization of the two parties. These things are a given fact.

But beyond these given fact, how many reasons are there for NOT voting? Do these reasons have merit? Are there some solutions to problems or issues around voting and the ultra low 7% approval rating for Congress? Also, what are the consequences of not voting?

1. Many people think their vote does not count. Voters believe that the Electoral College selects the President, not the actual vote count. What actually happens though is that the votes of the people in each state determine the candidate that the Electoral College then endorses for that state. This means that every vote counts, and every person should vote, because the Electoral College candidate is determined by VOTERS, not by some arbitrary process that has nothing to do with voters.

2. Many people have the excuse that they are too busy to vote. Family, work and other life events ‘get in the way’ of voting. Is that really an obstacle to voting, when it is possible to vote by mail these days?

All that has to be done to avoid the too busy excuse is to register to vote at some point during the year, and at the same time, ask for a permanent mail in ballot. The process of voting by mail is no more difficult than paying a bill.

3. Voting registration is a process that people can fear or feel intimidated by. However, the process of registering to vote is much like the process of getting an ID card, where one simple form is filled out. The process of voting registration is actually easy and effortless, and it can be done by mail or online.

4. Apathy is probably the most common reason for not voting. People often do not vote because they do not like the bickering and infighting or mud slinging between candidates. People believe with a lot of justification that politics is a dirty business, and they want nothing to do with it. As a result of the mud slinging, many choose to not pay attention to politics, or ignore it completely. However, those same people often complain the loudest about how bad things are, while not doing anything to make it better. Voting is just one small, simple thing that can be done to make a difference. If you do not vote, do not complain about how bad things are. Get informed about some clean and green political options, such as the Green Party.

5. Some people say they do not vote, because the ‘lines are too long’. However, when seen from the perspective of people dying to gain the RIGHT TO VOTE, standing in line for even a few hours seems like a small price to pay, wouldn’t you agree? There is also a simple and easy process to convert to a mail in ballot, permanently, so you NEVER have to stand in line, unless you WANT to do that.

6. Some people say they do not vote because they do not like the two candidates that are on the news every night. What most people do NOT realize is there are many political candidates and choices beyond the first two that are on the nightly news ‘programming’. If you do not like being programmed against your will, choose one or more of the third party candidates. For example, the Green Party candidates do not accept any corporate money, plus they have a platform that looks ahead seven future generations, instead of just two years. Why choose from the lesser of two evils, when there is political choice that you can vote for; with NO EVIL contained within it?

7. Some people say that they cannot get to the polling place to vote. This may have some validity if a person is sick, disabled or without transportation. It is now possible to vote early, vote by mail, or to have someone else vote for you, by signing a form that gives someone you trust the power to vote in your place. Between these many options, it is still possible to vote, even with difficult circumstances.

8. If a person is traveling, it may be an excuse for not voting, but again the same techniques already explored in the previous sections offer a way to vote. Vote early, vote by mail, or have the ballot sent to where you will be on vacation or on station in the military. There is a way to do this.

9. In Australia, coming up with excuses to not vote is not an option. Did you know that Australia REQUIRES everyone to vote, or to pay a $50 fine? Australia is a democracy and freedom loving country that understands how crucially important it is to vote. They understand (as everyone should) that democracy and freedom is a responsibility and a burden. Voting may not be easy or convenient, but in a freedom loving country, voting is a moral and ethical requirement. What would happen if EVERYONE was required to vote here in the USA? How would that change things? Pretend that this law exists, and that you are required to vote. It may be a more healthy way to look at the world.

10. Some people do not vote for a third party such as Green Party, because they are told it will ‘spoil’ the vote for one of the big two politicians. This is another propoganda piece put out to intimidate voters and get them to toe the line, or to end up not voting, through social pressure, mental and emotional pressure. Remember, this is the United States of America, where everyone is FREE to vote for anyone that they want to vote for, even if it is a write in candidate not appearing on the ballot. Saying you will ‘spoil’ democracy unless you vote the way others do is not even rational.
No one can ‘spoil’ an election. The essence of freedom is that you have the right and privilege of voting for the BEST choice, not the lesser of two evils. Why vote for evil out of fear, when you can vote for good with courage and hope?

Remember that the only people not allowed to vote are approximately 10 million illegal aliens and 5.8 million felons. These two groups are NOT allowed to vote, so these groups really do have a valid reason for NOT voting; THEY CAN’T VOTE, unlike you. So if you want to be like illegal aliens and felons, don’t vote. 5.8 million felons and illegal aliens cannot vote by law, but they wish that they could.

There is a problem with ex-felons not being allowed to vote. “The vast majority of these disenfranchised adults have been released from prison. Sentencing Project researchers found more than 4 million Americans who cannot cast a ballot because they’re on probation or parole, or live in a state that withholds the right to vote from all ex-felons.

“This is a fundamental question of democracy,” said the Sentencing Project’s executive director Marc Mauer. “These policies go back to the founding of this country. [The U.S.] was founded as a great experiment in democracy, but was very limited. Wealthy, white male landowners granted themselves the right to vote, but women, poor people, Indians, African Americans and people with felony convictions could not vote.”

The right to vote was acquired at great cost of many lives and great suffering by the poor, brave women and people of color. Why would you throw this right and freedom away?

If you want to be like people living in terror of punishment under dictatorships, with no right to vote, and no choice of candidates other than the dictator, by all means, quit voting. If you want to be like those quivering in fear under the thumb of despotic regimes such as Quatar, where free voting is NOT allowed, go ahead and do not vote. Do not be surprised when things do not go the way you want. Remember, every vote counts, and your vote is crucially important. You will certainly not ‘spoil’ anything or anyone, if you vote exactly the way you want to vote.

11. Some people say that voting does not matter, because their ONE vote will not swing the result one way or the other. The only problem with this is that many state elections have swung one way or the other based on a few votes, a couple of hundred votes or in the case of a Presidential election, a few thousand votes. The problem with this thinking is that MANY people think this way, so the problem is not just one person’s vote that is lacking, it is MILLIONS of people who think and act this way. MILLIONS of people voting can make a HUGE difference, as most campaigns are extremely close one way or the other.

12. Especially with local campaigns, even third parties can win a campaign if all third party registered voters such as the Green Party actually come out and vote. People typically do NOT vote because they ‘believe’ that their vote will not count for anything, anywhere. As a result, their fear actually comes true, because when they do not vote, their worst fear is actually realized… their vote is NOT counted, so they truly and justifiably feeling helpless, frustrated and angry.

13. Some people believe all political candidates are bought off by corporations, so why bother voting, because the votes have already been bought and sold. Those people with that belief are actually correct. However, Uncle Kippy will always be of the side of his bosses. The American people!


It is with great humility that I have announced my candidacy for the office of President of The United States.

I never thought I would do this but due to the conditions and image of The United States in and around the world, I feel it is my duty to take up the task of getting this ship of state back on the right course.

Our economy is in ruin, our healthcare policy is a joke, people need jobs and our image around the world is an embarrassment! I know I can do this. It won’t be easy, it won’t be quick and we will all have to pitch in.

I will be a President for the people. All people, regardless of their race, gender, color, creed, sexual orientation, age or religious beliefs. My greatest asset is that i am not a politician. I am an American. I am not a rich man. I speak from my heart and I am willing to fight for the rights and the good of all people.

I cannot be beat if I simply take each issue and fix it without concern for the powers that be. All of us will feel the pain of change and I will be among you all. Working and sweating by your side in the battle to retrieve greatness back from incompetence. I can do this because I have done it! I was sent away from my home at the age of fifteen with only thirty cents in my pocket. I have survived and thrived, raising three children and building a career that is known all over the world. Failure does not enter my mind and I can and do multi-task very well. The busier I get the better I like it!

I do not consider The presidency a prize but a duty I must perform for my country, The United States of America, to which I owe everything. It is time to step up and square my debt with this great land.

I will not be known as a traveling President. I will conduct the business of state using the tools of the twenty-first century. Why should i spend Six Hundred and Fifty-Thousand Dollars an hour of the peoples’ money to travel the world when I can meet with anyone via electronics. Why would I travel to vacation in some far off land when I can enjoy the pleasures of my own country. In other words I will be a President of the present, not the past.

i believe that our greatness is derived from the multiplicity of our population and the new citizens we welcome to our home. They are our best ambassadors to their own culture.

Kip Addotta


Uncle Kippy

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A Man Of Honor

04/25/2014 — 5 Comments


I consider myself a man of honor. I live by one rule. “My word is my bond.”

According to my Roman Catholic Beliefs I have never committed a mortal sin. It is not easy to commit a mortal sin! In order to commit a mortal sin, three things must be in place, One, I must know it is a sin, Two, I must contemplate it. Three, I must commit it. I have committed many venial sins but none that possess the three requirements listed above. I live by this code. I do not do this for anyone else but only as a requirement of myself and my behavior.

I have never been with another man’s wife or even another man’s girlfriend although the temptation has challenged me many times. I do judge other people in regard to this sort of thing but I am disappointed in them if they engage in this sort of behavior. However I do not confront them with my feelings. I do not believe it is my place to voice my disapproval.

It is not a convenient policy, at all. As a matter of fact, it is damned inconvenient. One must weigh ones words carefully knowing that, if spoken, one is bound, by honor, to back these words up and fulfill the promise of ones stated intentions. If you take up this policy you will not be appreciated for it. To the contrary, you will be mocked and shunned for it. People will stop talking when I approach and not let you in on certain things because they know I disapprove.

If I borrow money and promised to pay it back on Monday, I will either pay it back on Monday or call on Sunday to inform my benefactor of a change in my ability. I do not owe any person or any company one penny. I find that people will respect you if you pay them the curtesy of keeping them in the loop. The worst thing you can do is to hide from a creditor. My credit score is 850!

I do not try to hold other people to this code, I simply eliminated anyone, from my life, who does not practice this code of honor! I do not have many friends. On the contrary, there are people who hate me for my beliefs and the fact that I expect them to keep their word. But, the friends I do have are good and true.

Why am I telling you this? Because I believe that if you follow the code of honor you will acquire a respect for yourself that is worth its weight in gold!

Kip Addotta


Uncle Kippy

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The art of Stand Up Comedy has been very good to me and I have dedicated myself to supporting the honorable members of our “Stand Up Comedy Community” and exposing the charlatans that prey upon it. They steal and use other hard working Stand Up Comedy artists material, use foul language, assault the patrons and, in general, demoralize those who are the life blood of the art of Stand Up Comedy, “The Audience!”

It is no wonder that people leave Comedy venues thinking, rightfully, that Stand Up Comedy is not funny and they are right! Stand Up Comedy hasn’t been funny for fifteen years.

There are exceptions like Wendy Liebman, Jimmy Walker, George Wallace, Jeff Foxworthy, myself, if I may, and a few others. The rest are an embarrassment to the Art Form.

So, I have taken it upon myself to weed out the Bad and point out the Good. And who do I think I am? I am Kip Addotta, that’s who I am. I have been blessed, by God, with a talent and am responsible to The Lord to do, to the best of my ability, the work that has been assigned to me. Stand Up Comedy. I am humbled by both the gift and the reasonability. What I do does not come easily to me but requires mind breaking work to achieve.

If someone takes my work and uses it as their own will not be tolerated.

So, if you are one of the people who are not worthy of and not working to become worthy of the title of Stand Up Comedian then get out because I’m coming and I’m not a nice man to deal with!

Kip Addotta


Uncle Kippy

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Sleep is one of the most important and wonderful things in life and, i believe, it is a gift from God! Napoleon is quoted as having said that, “Fatigue makes cowards of us all.” This something that is important! We and all living things including plants need rest. The great Bob Hope had the capability to take “Cat naps” though out the day which most certainly came in handy while doing his historic USO Tours which required him to be is far off location and be able to perform while defying his own body clock.

If you want to accomplish anything, in life you must have proper sleep. You will never achieve your goals without it! The great John Cleese said that when he hit a wall while writing, he would turn the lights out and go to sleep. When he woke up he was not only able to continue with what he was writing but didn’t even remember whatever it was they the problem he was having was.

Sleep is, to our brains, what a good shower is to our bodies.

Each of us requires different lengths of sleep and one must monitor themselves as to if one is getting the proper amount of sleep for “Us.” Too much sleep is as bad as not enough. If you are in a depression, the proper amount of sleep will bring us out of said depression while too much sleep will take us into a deeper level of this depression.

I speak from experience. I was once in a depression for six months. I never got out of bed and hid under the covers waiting for this depression to go away. It did not go away until two people called me, out of the blue, and reasoned me out of it. These people had no knowledge of my depression but a feeling in their gut. I believe that I owe these people my life!

So, remember! Sleep is imperative!

Kip Addotta


Uncle Kippy

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imagesEvery once in a while God sends me a gift!

Today God suggested that I reach out to a gentleman by the name of Tom Gulley. I have been receiving encouragement from this man for a while and felt that I shelf thank him and I did. I also sent him my phone number.

He called me and what began was a long and enlightening conversation with a wonderful person. A good Joe! We spoke about everything from soup to nuts and I found myself feeling as if I had found a soul mate. Tom Gulley is thoughtful, well spoken and brilliant. He also seemed to be familiar with my work and I felt excited about becoming familiar with his.

Tom Gulley and I are now engaged in a creative endeavor, together. Wow! Thank you Lord, you have come through for me again.

My point is that I want you, being a friend, to know to always be on the watch for things that are sent your way. This is one of the most important joys of life. Having a chance meeting with an important person. A person that you have sympathy with and has a sympathy for you as well. I feel good about it!

I feel, “at peace.” I am now becoming connected with a good and true friend that I believe will be with me fot the rest of my life.

You too can and will be blessed with gits like this so keep a look out for them to come floating by. God is among us and he will watch over and give you the things you need, All you have to do is be willing to accept them and use them as tools for what you want to build.

It, of course, requires one to be willing to pan for this gold and be open to it. And, at the same time be aware that not everything that glitters is gold. But there is gold being sent your way. I guarantee it!

Kip Addotta


Uncle Kippy

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Bad Bad Boys

04/14/2014 — 6 Comments


Be careful! In my experience, one should always keep a sharp eye on the people around them. I have traveled the world many times over and one thing remains true wherever one is and that is that there are bad Bad People around and that include the street where you live and the lawn in front of your home!

These people do not look bad, as a matter of fact they tend to look quite harmless! Always be careful because they are always scanning for ‘Marks” to take down. We are not even safe in our friends homes! Because, there friends and their home and yard are being scanned too. Again, watch and listen and you will avoid trouble, live longer and, God Forbid, have to bury one of or all of your children.

If you discount what I am saying, now, or chalk it up to paranoia, you are making a profound mistake! Even as I write this it disturbs me. Because I see people that don’t watch their own back too often. They think that something as tragic as I am referring to will never happen to them. Thaese are the very type of person that Bad Bad People are scanning for.

I lead a life full of family fun and friends of good cheer, however, I am constantly scanning the perimeter for suspect people who, somehow, don”t belong. I go out and stay out late and am willing to go into the best and the worst areas because it makes no difference where I am, I know one thing and that is that I must always be on alert!

I do not say these things lightly! I say them because I love people. All people. And I believe that if something happens to one of us, it happens to all of us. So take good care of you and yours because I love you!

Kip Addotta

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A humorous look back to another time, a long time ago, by my good friend Tommy Joseph

Back in 1965, hitchhiking through Texas from one end to the other starting in El Paso where some guy dropped me and my buddy Ray off in the middle of the night on an off ramp to a huge new highway with no traffic.  It was cold and windy. 
Turns out they had just put the highway up.  I thought when things are new people are supposed to flocked to them.  Not in this case.  Hardly a car.  We spent nearly 24 hours in that spot before finally a big wide car swings over and the doors open up.

It’s two black men   The driver is about 50, the passenger is my age, maybe younger.  They hardly spoke across all of Texas.  I learned they were going to Florida to get jobs cooking.  The father was a chef.  Good, Ray and I will get off in New Orleans and hitch north to PA.  Not only did those guys hardly speak, they hardly ate.  We stopped only for gas and an occasional candy bar.  I was starving. 

All the way across Texas Ray and I were tossing hints such as, “Sure am hungry”, or, “a hotdog sounds good right about now”, but they just kept rolling.  Finally, in Louisiana, in a town with a name I will never forget – New Iberia – they decided to pull over at a strip mall restaurant.  It’s about time.

We’re all tired.  We went in and took a table.  The joint was empty.  Maybe one person.  The waitress comes over and asks what we want.  The black guy who had been driving is looking at the menu.  He says he’ll take the “Swimp”.  That’s the way he pronounced shrimp – “Swimp.”  Not laughing at it, it’s just one of those things you can’t forget.

The waitress took our orders and disappeared.  I was tired.  I don’t think any of us were very observant for that reason.  As I said, the joint was empty.  But when I looked out the window I noticed a large crowd had gathered.  They were staring into the window at us.  Some were young.  Some were pounding their fists into the palms of the other hand.  I didn’t like the looks of this.  Some were coming into the restaurant and taking seats, others milling around with menace.  Then it hits me, this place is segregated and they think we’re there to make a statement.  They thought we were trouble makers.

I never wanted to see a cop so badly.  They got there pretty quick.  I realized quickly that’s why the food never arrived, the waitress probably called.  Two cops ushered me and Ray to the side while two others dealt with the black men.  One of the cops looks at me and Ray with a quizzical look on his face and says, “What are you boys doing with them suspects?”

I didn’t even think about it, it just came out.  I said, “Well, you see Officer, Ray and I were stuck in El Paso for 24 hours, we were really tired, no sleep for 24 hours, and it was really cold and windy out there and hardly any cars coming by”, then paused briefly before adding, “Officer, under the same conditions, I believe even you would have accept a ride from a couple a niggers.”

He looked amused and shocked at the same time, a wonderful combination.  “Ok”, he said, “I want all a you boys to get back in that car and move on now”, as the other cops released ‘the suspects’ and we all piled back into the car, still without a meal, all the way to the drop off point in New Orleans.  Except this time it was me and Ray hunkered low in the back to make the seat look empty from outside.  We did not want to be seen till we hit the big town, not by anybody.


Contributed by Tommy Joseph
Do you know Craig Gass?  Sex in The City, Stern, Las Vegas, King of Queens, Smirnoff Ice commercials?
Last night was Brian Corrigan’s funeral service at Ascension Lutheran Church in Tucson, AZ.  Brian was a burgeoning comic and an employee here at LAFFS Comedy Club.  He was killed by a drunk driver after performing at an open mic.
At the services the Minister asked for testimonials.  Craig Gass was the 3rd or 4th person to speak.  He essentially starting doing ‘bits’ and was talking about himself and his success.  Then he said that Brian bounced his ‘Superman’ jokes off him – (Brian was paralyzed after a high school accident) – and then he said, “If you can pull those jokes off you’re FUCKING Superman…blah, blah, blah…..So I had all this SHIT…blah, blah, blah…………I asked Brian if he wanted any of this SHIT….blah, blah, blah.  It’s SHITTY that you’re gone, Brian.  Blah, blah, blah,  You were a funny Man  “At this point the minister took the mic out of his hand.  Craig Goss did this in front of about 250 people, standing in front of the pulpit of a church, in front of children, in front of old women, IN FRONT OF BRIAN’S FATHER, MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER, ETC.  Tears were flowing and everyone was stunned, shocked, sickened.After the service I went outside and told him in no uncertain terms that I felt he was an offensive, disgusting, arrogant, ignorant, disrespectful piece of filth.  I told him to stay away from my staff, my friends, and to NOT step foot inside my club again.
I am sharing this with you because I want everyone to know what an incredibly disgusting, diseased piece of monkey excrement and a despicable excuse of a person Craig Goss is.  Cockroaches fear the light and hide in the dark.  I hope this will turn a bright light on a disgusting individual named Craig Goss.  Craig Goss is the biggest roach I’ve ever seen.  If you see him please tell him what I’ve said.  Scotty Goof
images Sent by Tommy Jpseph
I was hitch hiking cross country, can’t remember which way, doesn’t matter.  I was in my late teens.  A guy about my age driving a ’55 Studebaker pulled over.  It had no paint job.  I loved it.  The guy was going a good distance.  After a while he asked if I wanted to drive.  “Hell yeah”, I said.

The guy was tired.  It didn’t take him long to conk out in the front seat, next to me, his head up against the window.  Why doesn’t he lie down in back?  I think I know the answer to that one, speaking from my own experience.  I can’t go to sleep when someone else is driving till I get a good idea how they drive.  Maybe that’s why the guy didn’t get in back.  He was tired though.
Anyway, he’s out like a light and I’m cruising along in his gun metal rocket – no radio, just the wind in my ears and the hum of the road.  He had one of those tiny steering wheels with metal spokes coming from the center.  There’s 3 spokes, each adorned with holes that get gradually smaller going downward.I was bored.  In a nice way.  I started with the largest hole.  I stuck my finger in and pulled it out.  Not challenging enough, too large.  I slid down to the next hole and slid my finger in.  Pulled it out pretty easy.  I went down to the second to last hole and slid my finger in.  I pulled it out.  It did not come out easy.  I put it in again.  It was like a challenge of some sort, a game of solitaire.  I put it in again.  Only this time I couldn’t get it out.  I gave it a good 10 minutes driving down that straightaway, didn’t want to wake the guy up, but the more I pulled on my finger the tighter it lodged.  I hated having to wake the guy up.I knew I had to get off the highway.  I slowed down to get ready for an exit.  Oh yeah baby, here’s an off ramp.  Thankfully it’s not a toughie, kind of long, but just enough of a curve to force me to slow to about 5 miles an hour so I could steer the wheel with my unstuck hand, contorting my body to work the stuck hand slowly to it’s limit.  I had to stop and re-steer several times.  It was driving with one hand, only worse.

It was night, but lucky for me there was an open gas station off the ramp.  This was in the era of full service stations.  I pulled in and crawled to a stop.  I nudged the guy who owned the car.  He was still asleep.  I nudged him several times before he woke to the words I had planned to use the whole time I worked his car down the ramp – “Uh, you are not going to believe this.”  Those are the go-to words I use in situations such as this – like the time years later when I was driving a cab and had to call the guy I leased it from to tell him it had been stolen after I had double parked it, left it running and ran into a building to get a customer.  I think, “Uh, you’re not going to believe this”, is better than, “you better sit down”, or, “I have bad news.”  It’s softer, yet it lets people know something not so nice is on the way.

“You’re not going to believe this”, I said, “my finger is stuck in your steering wheel.”

Two guys came out of the station and helped try to pry it loose.  No luck.  I admit I was resisting a bit because it hurt.  Finally one of them went in and came back out with a bucket of grease and applied some to my finger and worked it back and forth and finally it popped out.  No real story here, just want to say, “Those racing-car style steering wheels with holes in them should be outlawed – I could have been killed that night because of that wheel.”

Let’s take care of the old driving distractions before we go to work on new ones like texting and cell phoning.  Let’s go back and work our way forward.  Outlawing everything.  But this time, start at the beginning and do it right. That stupid wheel could have killed me and it would not have been my fault.  There was nothing premeditated about it.  My finger slipped into the holes, that’s all – it’s not like I planned it.  Get rid of those steering wheels, they are dangerous.

I was an idiot that night and I loved it.  By the way, the guy let me drive again.  This time I played only with the two larger holes near the top of the wheel.