Archives For May 2014

Dare To Dream

05/23/2014 — 3 Comments


A strange reality has crept into my mind. I am naive. I truly believed that America is a place where one can do anything one sets out to do. It seems that I am wrong! Like everywhere else on earth only the rich can do anything they want. If you are rich you are allowed to run for President. If you are poor, you are not! If one is rich a run for the Presidency is looked upon as viable. If you are not rich it is looked upon as insane.

When my family and I moved to California from Rockford IL I had a dream to make it in Stand Up Comedy. We had no money and yet with hard work and some talent I have done very well. With this president I felt that I could do the same thing in politics. “Wrong, joke breath.” All the “Duck billed platitudes” about America don’t seem to be true.

Oh, we talk a good game but when it comes right down to it, big money rules! I’m sure that this is all obvious to you but I I am a “Cockeyed optimist.”  “I dream the impossible dream.” I am an unrealistic fool!

To think that I could and would be The Leader of The Free World! Little, old, me. I should be ashamed of myself. I should go stand in the corner with a dunce cap on my head. I should write, “I am not good enough” a thousand times on the blackboard. America! “The land of the free and the home of the brave” I truly believed that “I” could bring greatness back to this country with honesty and hard work.

But, maybe I am still wrong. Maybe it is, “Darkest just before dawn.” Maybe that miracle is just around the corner. Because a miracle is what I need. I need the sky to open up and a light to come down from the heavens with a voice that say, “Don’t give up! You will succeed.” I pray for that miracle every day!

I am Kip Addotta and I believe that I can be The President of the United States.

Thank you for the support that I have received, so far.

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We all know that our health care system is broken. It’s too complicated, too expensive and leaves our doctors without time enough to spend with us. This is not as complicated a fix as one might think.

When you see a doctor you will incur a bill from him/her. If you side step the insurance, you may or may not have, you will get a deep discount on your services because you are relieving the doctor of the chore of dealing with insurance companies all together. This means that the doctor will have more time to do the things you’re actually there for. Treatment!

I have raised three children and in doing so I have, of course, had doctor bills. Every month I would get a bill from my doctor and every month I would sen as much as I could afford. Never once has any doctor complained about this system. And never once have we been turned away without treatment.Doctors (And this may surprise some of you) have to make a living. They do not treat us for free!

However, if you show some respect to your doctor with a monthly payment you will always be treated well and the doctor will always have time for you.

So what am I talking about here? It’s called “The Honor System.” We expect our medical professionals to have honor and yet show none to them in return. Pay your medical bills! No matter how much or how little you pay, your doctors will accept your situation and ability to pay.

It is the insurance companies that complicate things by burying our doctors with so much paper work that they don’t have time to do their real work. Treating us!

I have a bill on my desk right now from jest Diagnostics for $147.77. I will call them and ask them if I can have a discount on this amount. If they say no, then I will ask them if I can make payments on the account. Or I may simply send them a check for the full amount. Is this too complicated?

And I am Kip Addotta, aks Uncle Kippy

And I am running for President

Want a common sense America? Sick and tired of politics as usual? Feel like sending a message to the career politicians?

If you answered yes, Kip Addotta’s Presidency is for you! I believe youi, like EVERY American is important. We can do this–together!

To make a Tax Deductible contribution to my Presidential campaign, go to Paypal and search for the Kip Addotta account by using this email. – Thank you and please share this!

And visit to see my platform and more of what I believe.

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“A good man is hard to find!” Truer words were never spoken. And yet are good men being sought? Are there women out there looking for a good man? They don’t seem to be. Women, as you may have noticed, seem to want bad goys, at Least for a while. Then after being defiled by every bum in town they choose some nerd to marry. Someone once said, “Never marry a girl in her own home town because every young man at the wedding will have already been there.” Why are wedding gowns white, again? Oh, yeah, to signify purity, virginity. How many women are virgins when  they marry? I the number is not 0 it would surprise me.

Before you say it, I will. Men are no better! But we don’t hear the phrase, “A good woman is hard to find.” No! They get a pass on that one. Today, men are nothing but vagabonds looking for sex with no reasonability involved. However, “It takes two to Tango.” So, there has to be a woman involved.

The bottom line here is that husbands and wives both cheat to different degrees, As a matter of fact I really shouldn’t call it “Cheating.” I seems to be the norm and the term “Committed relationship” seems to have come to mean, “We will both se other people but we won’t talk about it. Or maybe we will if that’s what excites you. ‘Mom’s not home, you see Dad’s out of town so she is out with a boyfriend.” Nice!

I’m an old fashioned man and I expect a monogamous relationship with the woman I love. Nothing else would be acceptable to me!

I am Kip Addotta and I’m running for President

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imagesI’ve heard all sorts of stories about myself. Gossip! Things that never happened, and yet, they are considered, by many, to be actual occurrences in my life. People choose to believe these outrageous stories. According to these stories I am and have been a “Wild Man!” Someone who is out of control. I have long since stopped defending myself with the truth. People don’t seem to want the truth, opting for the myth because it is more interesting.

When I was at a party chatting with a lady in the living room, there was someone in the back bedroom snorting cocaine. The next morning the people in the back bedroom were saying that they were snorting cocaine with Kip Addotta. If there had been someone more notable at the party they would have had this dubious distinction. I have been accused by people who I have never met of being an anti-semite, a racist, a homosexual, a thief, a miscreant, a cur, a misogynist, a lothario, and I’m sure many things that haven’t come to my attention.

Gossip can and does ruin lives. And yet the people who engage in it are delighted to do so. If I had done half the things that people say I have done, I would be a remarkable specimen indeed. I have been accused of running up fifteen-hundred dollar bar tabs and having sex with every cocktail waitress in the nation, including US Territories. The truth is I’ve spent more than my share of lonely nights in rather ordinary hotel rooms, watching CNN.

Of course I’ve had some naughty nights along the way but nothing to compare with the legend. Too much material to write and too many show recordings to listen to. After all I have made over seventeen-hundred TV appearances on network and syndicated shows and that doesn’t leave much time for frivolous behavior. All that material had to be written and polished and there was no one around to do it for me.

I am not alone in this situation. A comedian’s life is a solitary one. But my time on stage made up for it. I love it! I wouldn’t trade it for all the booze, girls and drugs on the planet. What a thrill! When I get off stage I am spent. There is no energy left to waste on silliness.

So if I am remarkable for any reason, it is because I have worked so hard. I must have made it look easy because I seem to be the father of many a pretender. These are the ones at the bar, chatting up “The Sheila’s.” I am the guy in the hotel room listening to show tapes and pressing my suit.

Kip Addotta, aka Uncle Kippy

I’m running for President

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We the People

05/14/2014 — Leave a comment


Thank you to Angela Delfavero, Morley Shulman and Robert Elam for you contributions.

It was interesting to watch people that are supposed to be my friends run for the hills when I announced my candidacy for President. When i win they will be back sucking up to me. But, it is a good thing that they are showing their true colors now. Even my family are hiding in the bushes. “Dad has lost his mind!”

Well, I have not lost my mind! I have found a cause that I believe in. That cause is The United States of America.

I’m calling the bluff of those that say they want good, clean government. Our Constitution says,”We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

We’ve heard it all our lives but we have not seen it in decades. More than fifty percent of our population doesn’t even vote and why should they? They don’t feel that their vote counts! And it is hard to convince them differently! They have good points when they say that our Government is run by people who are out for themselves. Corruption and graft run rampant. Research any government project and just under the surface we find that someone close to the official i charge is getting a cut or making an undeserved profit for doing nothing at all. Our unions are openly connected to gangsters and our public officials are financed by these gangsters.

However, as it turns out one feels more comfortable dealing with gangsters than they do dealing with our bankers who have cheated us out of hundreds of Billions of dollars. And who makes up the difference? We do! The American tax payers! This will stop!

Yearly bonuses paid to corporate chiefs will be monitored and will no longer be available to those who have not made a taxable profit.

I say let’s solve the problem from the top down rather from the bottom up. I will put measures into place that will make it illegal to transfer funds to off shore accounts and for those who decide to physically transport cash to off shore accounts The FBI will intercept them and arrest them in the same way The DEA intercepts drugs being brought into our country.

It will also be illegal to export jobs out of our country. Companies who relocate to other countries will no longer be able to peddle their goods in our country. However, we will offer tax breaks to companies who come back to The United States of their own volition. Our minimum wage will be raised to a level that will support our families. I suggest our minimum wage should be $13.75 an hour.

Legal immigration will be encouraged, quotas will be eliminated and the process to become an American citizen will be less difficult and less lengthy. A functional ability to speak our American language will be necessary. No longer will people from other countries be held hostage by language barriers, enabling so called “Community Leaders” to control them by fear and ignorance.

Our borders will be closed and using the technology we have today we can and will seek out and destroy attempts to tunnel under our boarders. Our airports will be open to those who want to migrate to our country. No more death toll in our deserts. These immigrants will be encouraged to settle in less populated States, eventually doing away with the need for Electoral Colleges! Every vote will count and voter fraud will carry harsh penalties.

i am Kip Addotta, aks Uncle Kippy

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Proof Of Life

05/14/2014 — 1 Comment


One last thing for the day.

I call it, “My Damn Blog.” Only because it’s something I promised myself that I would do, every day! I took on the work and I am doing the work. When this day’s blog is done I feel good about keeping my word. However, like working out, I am happy when it’s done. I am lazy!

At the same time, I can’t stand sitting around doing nothing. It’s the same with vacations. I don’t like them. I have traveled the world many times over and, “There’s no place like home!” When I was in Paris I liked the Eiffel Tower right where it was, way over there. When I’m in New York I like the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty right where they are, way over there. I have no need to see them up close or have my picture taken standing in front of them.

It’s the same with people. If I meet someone of note I never ask them if I can have a picture taken with them. I have no need for a “Proof of life” thing. It will be a memory that I can and do cherish but I don’t need a picture of it. If someone asks to have a picture taken with me I oblige. But, it seems like I’m being taken advantage of.

I’ve never had a “Rogues Gallery’ on one of the walls of my home. When I see one I think to myself, “This person wants me to know that they are important because they are pictured with important or well-known people.” I am not impressed! Rather, I think it and they are pitiful. They have had the experience of meeting someone and they felt the need to take that extra nick out of that individual.

I do not believe that people who are famous owe me anything. I have heard so many people say, ‘Well they wanted to be famous so they have to pay that little extra by giving me their autograph or taking a picture with me!” When I met Al Pacino, I felt honored that we had a four or five minute exchange. I didn’t even tell him that I was a big fan, although, I am. I told him a story and he enjoyed the story and that was more than enough for me.

It’s the same when someone approaches me. I pray they don’t go into the “I’m a big fan of yours” mantra. It embarrasses me and I want to get away from them. However I would be delighted to have a conversation with them without all the bowing and scraping. But, that’s me!

I am Kip Addotta, aka Uncle Kippy

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Hard Work

05/12/2014 — 2 Comments


Early in my career I was lucky enough to be signed to The William Morris Theatrical Agency. Sam Weisbord, of the William Morris Agency seemed to take a liking to me. I would pop into his office, at will, and he always made time for me.

One day I was feeling blue and insecure about my career. I asked Mr. Weisbord what I should do? He leaned forward, from across his desk, looking me right in the eyes and, in almost a whisper, said, “You must be demonic!”

I thanked him and left his office thinking about what he had said. I asked myself what a demon would do if the demon had the same goals that I did. At the time I was working out my material at The Comedy Store and then sort of hanging around watching and listening to what was going on. I thought, is this what a demon would do? My answer was no! A demon wouldn’t settle for working at only one location. A demon would be working out material everywhere that would have him. So I began to add other locations to my nightly rounds. I would hit The Comedy Store and then swing out into the valley and do The Palomino Lounge, then I would do a set at a place called Show Biz, then I would go back over the hill to Beverly Hills and do The Ye Little Club, The Horn in Santa Monica and finish my evening off at The Improv. I would make audio recordings of these sets and, more importantly, listen to all of the recordings the next day.

My catalog of material began to grow by leaps and bounds. I worked prisons and Chinese restaurants. Anywhere there were people, there I would be. I even wrote little notes and put them in phone booths, all around the city. The notes read, “Kip Addotta is a funny man!” I would go back to these phone booths and if the notes were gone I would replace them with fresh ones. I was demonic.

This is how I am today! I set a goal and become demonic about it. I am demonic about becoming the next President of the United States. As I write this I am experiencing an adrenalin rush. Nothing will stop me! When I reach this goal I will become demonic about being the best President I can be. I will be demonic in keeping my word to the American People. I will be demonic in my efforts to realize my goals of rebuilding our nation into the optimistic country it was created to be.

None of this will be easily done and none of this will be done without sacrifices from every American person. We must all role up our sleeves and begin to do the hard work that is ahead of us. We must work for the benefit of all people, knowing that a rising tide raises all boats. And, at the end we will look back and admire ourselves for the selflessness we have shown.

Uncle Kippy Wants You!

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Kip Addotta, aka Uncle Kippy

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Kip Addotta

Who are we in this current world, what have we become? We want everything we do to be easy and we want instant gratification. Well, nothing worthwhile comes easy! Raising children, paying ones’ debts, taking care of our parents, avoiding temptation, keeping ones’ marriage vows, dieting, saying no, are all difficult.

As JFK once said in reference to all the things involved in going to the moon, “We are not doing these things because they are easy, but because they are hard.” We’ve heard it all through our lives. It’s hard to do this and it’s hard to do that. Tell me what is easy. If done well there is no job that is easy. There is no relationship that is easy. Again, nothing worthwhile is easy!

And yet we look for the easy way out, the straight line between two points, the soft spot. There are none. They say, and I believe it to be true, that one can accomplish anything if one spends one hour a day on it. Even this is not easy. There are so many distractions and so many obligations. Getting this damn blog out every day is not easy. I am not a typist. I am a speaker. Dictation programs are not easy. And don’t get me started on punctuation and grammar. BTW, thanks to all of you for your patience!

The most difficult thing is, “Seeing ourselves as others see us.” If I were to believe what other people say about me I would think that I am arrogant, annoying, narcissistic and aggressive. I do not feel any of these things. I see myself as determined! I am the dark horse, the under dog, the little train that could!

Thus I have spent my life doing things that other people considered unreasonable and unrealistic. However, I have never failed to accomplish my goals. I am not afraid of hard work, while most of those around me have been slackers, vagabonds and malcontents. As The Marines say, “The difficult we do right away, the impossible takes a little time!”

Trust and love are not easy although I trust too easily and love too deeply, it seems. However, it takes me a long time to let anyone into my love and too short a time to earn my trust. I am a cock-eyed optimist.

All this being said, I am the most trustworthy person I know. Always on time, always true to my word, and always ready to roll up my sleeves and work as hard as I can. The ‘difficult’ does not intimidate me, and I am not afraid of the ‘impossible.’ Yes, I am running for the office of The President of the United States of America!

I like me!

Kip Addotta, aka Uncle Kippy

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05/04/2014 — 4 Comments


You may not approve. You may not approve of same sex marriage, abortion, immigration, people who don’t belong to your tribe. For your own good I recommend that you find a way to lose all of that.

We are not the “Judge” and that is a blessing because it is a waste of energy and time. Let’s leave that to the Lord! I decided a long time ago that I don’t care. I don’t care about any of the things I have no control of. I care about my behavior. I can control that. People who claim to be Christians seem to overlook one of the basic tenants of Christianity, “Only God can judge. God is the only one who knows all and therefore knows the motives and the experiences that shape each one of us.”

We should spend our time doing the things that we consider proper behavior, and tolerate those who do not live their lives according to our rules.

The different cultures of our land is what makes our country great. The problem with the Russians is that they are all Russian. They do not have the diversity that we enjoy. The Chinese are all Chinese and they only do things that have evolved in their culture. It is when they come to America that they are exposed to our melting pot. We are the only nation, in the world, that has the blessing of the grand tapestry of all cultures combined into “One Nation Under God!” That is why other nations take our technology and use it as if it were their own. The Russian culture is a culture of large bulky design. Their machines are heavier and larger and cumbersome. Ours are lighter and more refined. However, when Russians immigrate to our nation, they are influenced by our diversity and contribute to our grand consciousness.

I love all cultures but do not love every one of every culture.

Immigrants are our best ambassadors. They come here and communicate back to their homeland and tell their friends and family all the wonderful things they find here. They talk about being able to own a car, maybe not a new car but a car. They tell their people that they can speak their mind and raise their children as they see fit. Their friends and relatives believe them because they are a member of those still in their homeland and not some representative who is paid, by us, to advocate virtues.

As far as Islam is concerned I believe that they may believe what they are told to believe. And also that we should consider what we have done to cause such anger among some of their ranks. We, the people, should see ourselves as others see us. Not an easy thing to do.

In the same way that the Jews may never again trust humanity to be humane, Islam may never be able to forgive the atrocities of the Crusades of which, as a Christian, I am ashamed. So, while I believe in defending our people from all harm I am also interested in the reasons behind these attempts on our national security.

We may not be responsible for our Fathers’ wrong doings, but I believe it will serve us well to be aware of them! Tolerance is necessary from all peoples.

I am Kip Addotta, aka Uncle Kippy, and I am running for President Of The United States!

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We are responsible! We can stop abortion, in our nation, by no longer creating fetuses that we are not able or unwilling to give birth to. Men and women alike, can close up every abortion clinic in, our country, by not giving them a reason to exist. Rape? Us men can put down the liquid courage and not rape women. You show me a rapist and I will show you a drunk or drug addict! Women can stop parading themselves around in costumes that invite the wrong kind of men to them.

Every person, in our country and around the world, can save countless lives by driving with the SEE method taught in motorcycle training. Scan, Evaluate, Execute. Our automobiles are transportation. They are not “Discos,” “Offices” or “VIP Rooms” in Strip Joints! They are meant to carry us from one place to another and if that place is a drinking establishment we should not be in them.

Do you have a problem with authority? How dare you! Who do you think you are? If you want equality maybe you should begin behaving like an equal. You are not special and I am not either! If you have a problem with the authority then maybe the authorities should have a problem with YOU! “Straighten up and fly right!” “My fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country.”

Do you belong to a gang? If you do, then, you are a coward. You need to have a group of “Thugs” or “Bitches” around you because you are NOT “All That!” You are a tiny person with a giant ego and I, personally, am going to slap the fake mask off your face. I have bigger badder boys and girls in my crew. They wear uniforms and they carry a badge and you can see their face. Do you want to play? Let’s play! We love to play! You can take that to the bank, “Coward!”

If you want honest government, stop electing people who are on the take. How do you spot them? They’re “Smiling.” I want the people I deal with to have the grim look of determination, on their face. The look of a person who expects the best from themselves and the best of others. Tired of being cheated? Stop cheating. “You can’t cheat an honest man. “We can stop theft if we stop stealing. Take your hand out of the cookie jar and point its finger at the people who continue sealing. Honesty begins at home.

Need a job? Go create one. Grab a broom and begin sweeping the sidewalks on your street. Before long people on other steers will want their sidewalks to look as good as yours. These people are called “Costumers.” Nothing honest is beneath me! I was sent away from home at fifteen with fifteen cents in my pocket. I have never received a 1040 form. I am an independent contractor. I’m the 1099 guy! I have generated millions of dollars creating works out of thin air!

I have faith in the Lord and have little faith in structures supposedly built to worship the Lord in. The Lord does not have a board of directors. Churches do! If I am in a church I pray to the lord. But then I pray to the Lord in gas stations too. When I ask, I have always received.

I n closing I must ask, “Why isn’t it a perfect world?” God has certainly given us the time to make it so.

I am Kip Addotta, aka Uncle Kippy and I am running for President!

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