Archives For July 2014

imagesThere are few subjects that have more misinformation on the streets than Comedy!

I am sick of so called experts who do not know the first thing about the subject of Stand Up or any other form of the Comedy Art! When i met Buddy Hackett, he had been in the business for thirty-five years and he told me he didm’t know how he had the nerve to go on stage only six months earlier. In other words he had learned so much in the previous six months!

At that time, Mr. Hackett was the highest paid entertainer in the world, getting fifty-thousand dollars a show! So, please, spare me the crap about how much you know about Comedy!

It takes six years to learn how to walk on stage! If you are an open mic comic you should never embarrass yourself by making any comment on the subject! My question to you is, “Have you ever seen a genuine Stand Uo Comedian wor?”. Chances are that you have not!

People who have get the impression that it is easy. That’s because we make it look effortless. That’s our job!

It is not easy! As a matter of fact, it is the most difficult discipline to master! How dare you have the audacity to call yourself a Stand Up Comedian! What you are is a person without a job! You may still live with your mom or have a day job that you don’t admit to.

None of this is funny! I don’t have to be funny any more than a brain surgeon has to have blood on his sleeves when he’s not working! I know I can flip the switch, at any time, and take the roof of the place! “This is not a drill!”

I am Kip Addotta

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The Best Man Ever

07/17/2014 — 4 Comments

Unknown

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.

Passenger: Who?

Cabbie: Frank Feldman. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.

Passenger: There are always a few clouds over everybody.

Cabbie: Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.

Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.

Cabbie: There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right.

Passenger: Wow, some guy then.

Cabbie: He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too – He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.

Passenger: An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?

Cabbie: “Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his wife.

This was sent to me by the best man!

Charlie Hefton

I am Kip Addotta

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These Darn Girls

07/17/2014 — 5 Comments

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I knew a woman, in Cleveland and she was something!

One day she called me, at my hotel, “Kip can I come over, I have something I want to show you!” Of course, I said, “Sure”

Within thirty minutes there was a knock at my door. I opened it and this beautiful redhead came in and sat down. ‘What did you want to show mw?”

With that, she stood up and pulled her panties down and off. She sat back down scooted forward and spread her legs to reveal a tattoo on her vagina! It was a frontal  view of a male lions head and combined with the color of her hair it was spectacular!

If you read this, Miss, please contact me! If you know this woman, please ask her to contact me!

Howwdy Doooo!

I am Kip Addotta

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I must say, this has been an interesting month (July 2014). I have run into some real rogues! Bad people!

I feel sorry for them. I don’t have to go after them because I know that the Karma of life will take care of that for me. Some people are not aware of the fact that what they do and how they do it will determine how they are treated and the obstacles they will encounter!

That is why I make every effort to hod my temper. When I lose my tempe, I am always wrong!

Steel is tempered to make it stronger. If it loses it’s temper it becomes less strong and when a person is less strong, other people will come in for the kill! (The Pack Mentality)

And it is stressful! Stress is the biggest killer! It’s not smoking, drinking, sex or global warming. It is stress!

So many people are influenced by the media and the media always has an agenda.

The media is always smiling! In nature, when an animal shows it’s teeth we all know it is a sign of aggression. When people smile we are led to believe that it is a sign of friendliness. It is not! I am wary of people who are always smiling. Used care salesmen, hookers and con artists are always smiling! When someone smiles at you, barring their teeth, know this. They are in an aggressive mode and are looking to take you down, in some way! However, a grin or slile without the baring of teeth is not an aggressive posture!

I am Kip Addotta

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This is the kind of thing one gets for speaking his mind in America!

Brian Linss · Friends with Rebel Yell and 1 other
This Jimmy Rehn fella sounds like he is going places. I gotta get his autograph. Oh, and Jimmy please keep this word for me. The word is “Cray-Cray”

Cindy Rehn · Friends with Rebel Yell and 1 other
I’m as old as you are & never heard of you except for my nephew talking about you years ago when he was a young man. When I saw this today I had to reach way back in my memory to even know who you are. It is too bad that you have taken such a low road. My nephew is a fine man who always “keeps his word” as you say. This entire episode is ridiculous! If you are that hard up for recognition, that does not say much for your popularity.

Cindy Rehn · Friends with Rebel Yell and 1 other
I’m as old as you are & never heard of you except for my nephew talking about you years ago when he was a young man. When I saw this today I had to reach way back in my memory to even know who you are. It is too bad that you have taken such a low road. My nephew is a fine man who always “keeps his word” as you say. This entire episode is ridiculous! If you are that hard up for recognition, that does not say much for your popularity

Cindy Rehn · Friends with Rebel Yell and 1 other
My point is that you are a has been who is defaming my nephew in an attempt to gain notoriety. I am me. You are nobody as far as I’m concerned. Since you have 16 lousy views on your stupid YouTube video, what does that say about your fame or popularity? Good luck with your show

Cindy Rehn · Friends with Rebel Yell and 1 other
PS: Since you’re so famous and busy you have time to go through with all this petty nonsense?

Cindy Rehn · Friends with Rebel Yell and 1 other
Do not do it at my nephew’s expense! I saw your website earlier. Forget it already go night night in your senior citizen retirement home.

Jeffery Babineau · Friends with Jimmy Rehn and 1 other
Retired? That explains the lack of comedy on your youtube channel. “Ageism?” We’re just making jokes about old drunks. You remember “jokes” don’t you? Sometimes people get good TV shows when they can make people laugh. A skill you’ve lost

Jeffery Babineau · Friends with Jimmy Rehn and 1 other
Does anyone remember laughter? I’m going to go watch a George Carlin special. At least he aged well.

Traci Manwaring · Friends with Jimmy Rehn
Your predictability is not entertaining…

Traci Manwaring · Friends with Jimmy Rehn
You were never in danger of that….turn the page…..you are condescending…..you do not deserve any props via my brother-in-law…..you are an attention whore, and cutting you off is the only way to end this…toodles..

Jeffery Babineau · Friends with Jimmy Rehn and 1 other
I don’t like open casket funerals because I choose to remember people when they were at their best. I’ll still remember the old Kip. I would have loved to call you and reminisce about some great shows I’ve seen you perform, but certainly not to discuss “this” sad event. Remember Kip, there is a difference between people laughing with you and and people laughing at you.

John Wise · Friends with Jimmy Rehn and 2 others
Kip doesn’t “Do jokes” on his website. He just sells them…..http://kipaddotta.com/2013/09/

John Wise · Friends with Jimmy Rehn and 2 others
Not the point. You stated you you’re website is “about many things”, and you “don’t do jokes” on your website. I just read many of your pages, filled with jokes. And I just shared one page, where you’re not “doing” jokes, just selling them. Correcting your misstatement.

Janelle Y. Jenkins-Rehn Mr. Kip Addotta sir!! I have been your friend and fan on Facebook for many years and are familiar with your posts, your family stories, and your comedic videos. I have also liked many times other pages you have asked me to like which I could also tell at that time you were cross promoting. I am sure probably similar to your deal with Jimmy. I think that is a great way of marketing and spreading”social media” pages, Which I know Jimmy Rehndoes an expert job at also. And by his defense team attack I am sure you can see that many people want you to know he is not a deal breaker kinda guy and I know he would especially not want to let you down. I don’t need to go on a soapbox in his defense he knows I dont feel that way about him at all. This has gotten too out of hand! I am not going to jump on the bash Kip bandwagon. I don’t feel that it does any good in that. I loved way back when we ( Jimmy and I) and we would bring different friends, going to see you many many times in bay area clubs and in Sacramento and LA too. Fun times. We both have always told friends and family of how much we dig you and I will continue. I can’t tell you how many times I have pulled up Wet Dreams for people to hear. Brilliant! And! I even remember( not sure if you do) you coming to see Jimmy play with his band at the Troubadour way back in the late 80’s the band was called Roulette. 25 yrs ago Some history there! Well I hope everyone can make nice nice and you and Jimmy can work out everything in a much less blasphemy way from now on. Have a great week sir!!!

I am Kip Addotta

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Unknown

Dennis A. Ferraro    General Counsel

My Memories of Kippy Addotta

Lesson # 1. There is an aromatic green leafed herb used by Italians, and others, to flavor food; and you can say its name the way Grandma Addotta taught Kippy to do, with the accent on the last syllable, which is an “a” and which is said as “bahs zee lee caw”—basilica.

Lesson # 2. If you are doing something that you value, some activity that makes you feel good, whole, etc., then do not let what you perceive as someone else’s (or some group’s or clique’s) perception of that activity make you feel less good about what you are doing.

So how was I so lucky to meet Kippy and be taught these two valuable lessons?

The first necessary circumstance was that I was fortunately born to Mary and Sereno Ferraro, who at some time after my arrival in October of 1946 lived on the Ten Hundred block of West Jefferson in Rockford, Illinois.

I don’t know when Kippy, his father Frank and Grandma Addotta first moved to the house just across the street; but my first memory of him was at about 7 or 8 years when Kippy who was about 2 years older would come over to my house to play on the few occasions that he was allowed out of his yard. It was natural for him to gravitate in that direction. My house was a short cut to State Street and the Piggly Wiggly where Grandma would send him for groceries, Cacciatore’s meat market and the soda fountain drug store in between. The Italian connection was also on my side: Ferraro’s, Giambrone’s, Chiodini’s; and my side of the street had more available kids.

Of course he and I would also play in his backyard which was nearly adjacent to the abandoned Rockford Furniture factory and just a jaunt from the Hobo jungle, an acre or so of woods along side the rail line which bordered Kent Creek. Many times Kippy and I would climb up steel ladders onto the roof of the factory or stand on the side of the railroad trestle over the creek while trains sped along a foot from our precarious perch. Some time’s we would also cross the creek to look for scraps of leather tossed out by the workers at Hess & Hopkins tannery. And Kent Creek itself was a marvelous adventure for us, as we dug out crawfish from its under- banks, or tried to dam it up with tree limbs.

The second component to my “schooling” in minor herbal matters, and those more important to development of genuine “character”, was Kippy’ s personality. He was older and bigger than me; but I could out- “Wrassle” him. Even though he was a tough competitor, many times either in a headlock or full nelson, I made him say “I give”. However, he never stayed mad at me for beating him at this child’s play; and he always was patient and kind to me. Of course, because of his longer legs he would do better than me at “Stretcho”, a game that involved standing facing each other, with outstretched legs, throwing a sharp knife just beyond where our feet were planted to see who could stretch the farthest.

Before relating how his friendship and kindness led to lesson number two, let me color my recall a basil shade of green, remembering a day Kippy and I were walking south on the west side of N. Avon street, about 1/3 of block from the intersection with W. State street, on a summer day when I was about 10 years old. If we turned our heads to the left, we would have seen the neighborhood barber shop, owned and operated by two brothers, who quite appropriately were named, Frank and John Barber.

We weren’t interested in haircuts that day; and instead were on our way to the West End Library which was about six blocks west on State. We probably were going to supplement our journey with a stop at Thompkin’s ice cream shop across from the Library. However, before we even got to the corner of State and Avon, Kippy called my attention to some abundant green plants someone had planted along the sidewalk. Picking a leaf or two for us to smell, he informed me that this was “bahs zee lee caw”, and that Grandma Addotta used this in her cooking.

This fresh and wonderful smell was new to me. My father and my mother’s parents emigrated from northern Italy and, although I am sure they must have used basil in our home cooking, I think that in Grandma Addotta’s native regional cucina (either Siciliano or Napolitano), this fragrant herb was more prominent. And as you can see, the scene of my first discovery lingers even now.

After Kippy graduated 8th grade from our St. Mary’s Catholic school, I, still in 5th or 6th grade, followed in his footsteps, and those of many of our schoolmates, in learning the ritual practice of serving as an “Altar Boy”. This entailed learning all of the altar boy responses in Latin to the priest’s prayers, learning how to set out the priest’s ceremonial vestments, learning all of the rites of Benediction, Stations of the Cross, blessing of the throats on St. Blaise Day, weddings, funerals, baptism, etc.

Kippy had gone on to Roosevelt Junior High and our lives diverged. He was teenager, older and taller. Somehow, he had managed to get himself a brand new Moped, purple and quite impressive to a kid like me. By this time, he was no longer the playmate that I could wrestle to the ground. He was large and in charge; but still kind to his junior buddy, me. Of course, I looked up to him.

One summer morning after returning from serving Mass as a new altar boy, I came upon Kippy standing on his sidewalk next to his new motor-bike. He asked what I was up to. For some reason, maybe because of the general emphasis placed in my circles on being a tough guy, or maybe simply because of my own insecurity of wanting to fit in and be accepted, especially by an older cool guy with a motorbike, I responded to his question by trying to make it seem like I thought being an altar boy was lame, not cool.

Kippy saw right through this mask. He kindly chided me by telling me that he knew that I liked my new job; and told me, in so many words, that I did not have to pretend otherwise just because I thought others might think it was “square”, not cool.

That’s the last childhood memory I have of Kippy. My family moved out of the neighborhood a month or two later. It was not until re-uniting with him as a member of his audience at a comedy club years later that I saw him again.

Perhaps there are other traces that I might retrieve, but these are two that I offer now to my old chum, Kippy Addotta.

To All The Ladies!

07/09/2014 — 2 Comments

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This is to all the ladies. I live with a woman (Dinny) that I love, however, I am making a list of possible replacements, in case she leaves.  While your here, you might want to check out my home by clicking on “At Home With Kip!

Click Comment just under the title

I know what I know! I do not know what you know! I know that there are no complicated answers. There are only complicated questions! The answers are always simple. What is the most important thing in a restaurant? The food! You may apply this method to any problem you encounter!

Answers!

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The problem is US Not Taking Responsibility!

When someone walks into your life think of it this way!

You’re in a basketball game. Your standing under the basket all by your damn self! Kobe Bryant throws the ball to you. Instead of putting the ball into the basket, you throw it back to Kobe Bryant! This is what our people are doing in their lives!

Someone walks up to you. (That’s Kobe Bryant throwing you the ball) You say “How are you?” (That’s you throwing the ball back to Kobe Bryant) Loser!

I am Kip Addotta

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As our forefathers roll over continuously in their graves loike pigs on a spit, I wonder what happened to the Good Ole’ USA That drafted me (think conscription) in the early 60’s and left me hanging like a redheaded step-child, out to die. I mean dry..Naw former not latter.Then there is a bunch of stuff I’m not supposed to mention!! Well FTA!! You can read about it in my book, including my favorite “Knock, Knock” Joke! Like Charlie Hefton used to do!

Our Forefathers