Archives For October 2014

images

I believe that girls should, indeed, wear panties!

Girls are like Ferraris, they are expensive to maintain and they leak!

I suppose that nothing can be done about the “Expensive” part, but the leaking part can be curbed by the wearing of panties.

I like white, cotton panties. I believe that most men would agree. I also believe that most men wouls agree that so-called sexy lingerie is not sexy!

Places like Fredeick’s Of Hollywood and Trashy Lingerie should be avoided, at all cost. Their products simply do not ‘Raise” my “Interests” if you know what I mean.

Please share this. It is time sensitive!

I am Kip Addotta

images

This from Tommy Joseph

Kip,

Years ago I decided that since I’m never going to be a winner it might be easier to be a loser. Not just any loser, but a champion loser – the greatest loser of all time. I felt it might be less competitive on the losing end.

I was stuck in the middle. I had spent some time trying to go up the ladder. It wore me out. But going down was not so easy either. But I kept plugging away.

Eventually I worked my way more than halfway down. Finally I was on the bottom rungs, the losing end. I was on my way to the top of the bottom. I was getting good at going down. But near the bottom things bogged down. I found myself trapped in a pack of determined losers. I had put myself in a worse place. High or low, it didn’t matter, I was always stuck in the middle.

My dreams of being the world’s number one loser were dashed. I decided not to chase either winning or losing. Too much work. Nor would I settle for being in the middle of the ladder with people clawing from below and kicking from above.

I decided to get off the ladder completely. It was not easy. It was a scary jump. But I did it. I picked myself up on the ground floor and walked away for good.

Tommy Joseph

No!

10/11/2014 — 3 Comments

images

I don’t think it’s a stretch to assume that you know that living and working in Hollywood is as challenging as anywhere else. But, this is an anthropological comment on the human condition everywhere.

I find that the hardest response to get is a “No.” I love the word no. It lets me know that I can move on with my quest for a “Yes.”

Countless times, I have been stalled by people who say, “Sounds good” or “Lets talk” or even a “Yes” that they do not mean. Now I have to wait around for them to finally, if I’m lucky, tell me that they’re not interested.

Many times I will bring a project to someone and they will say yes and then shelve it in order to protect another project that they feel that my project threatens. Yes, they will put it on a shelf and no one will ever see it. In the mean time, out of courtesy I am unable to shop it for a long time.

Please, tell me no!

If you have ever been in the storage room of an agent, manager or producer, you will see hundreds of scripts sitting there, collecting dust. The creator of the hit show “Mad Men” spent ten years trying to get his show on the air for this reason. Now, everyone wants a show like Mad Men. “Success has many fathers but failure is an orphan!”

I have no delusions about changing this, just venting, today!

I am Kip Addotta

 

Unknown

This is not for people that it does not apply to!

I want to know if what you say is what you mean. Does your word mean anything or are you paying lip service to life? Do you ever include yourself in any activity that doesn’t include cocktails? I am tired of the chatter about all the things people believe in when all they really believe in is getting liquored up and spewing “Duck Billed Platitudes” about positions they think will be acceptable to the most, rather than voice their true opinions even when they are not the “Official Position” of the party! As in, The Communist Party!

Are you who or what you say you are? Or are you just another empty suit? And by the way, how big is your ass? Does it take a yard stick and a pack of Winston reds to measure it? And why is your ass so big? Do you expect our Government to pay for a contraption to haul your ass around on?

Are you for real? Or are you simply another pig sucking at the public trough? Do you have a job? Or do you think that taking a pottery class will enable you to, someday, contribute to the betterment of mankind? Do you want free information on the mail? “But wait, there’s more!” Have you ever considered the fact that the phrase “No one beats our price” doesn’t mean that their price is the same as everyone else’s? Are you a chump?

What is your contribution? Are you a Philosophy major? Is this the guise you use to seem like you’re doing “Something” other than trying to set the Guinness World Record for the most fellatio given in one semester? Or maybe you believe that the size of your penis will find you a decent woman. Good luck with that!

If you answered yes to any of these, I strongly suggest that you take the shortest distance between two points and go directly to a Pimp who offers a health package!

I am Kip Addotta

Decent People

10/09/2014 — Leave a comment

images

This morning, I had the great pleasure to appear on The Sandy Kastel & Friends Show on KLVA 1230 AM radio, in Las Vegas. (9:AM, Monday through Friday)

As you may know, I generally keep the “Carping Lamp” lit and it was indeed lit when I called into the show.

Well, it wasn’t more than a few moments into the interview when I found myself totally disarmed and chatting with two of the sweetest people that I have had the pleasure of meeting.

We were talking about cooking, kitchens, Sicilian and Italian food, Grandmothers and family. I felt like a big dog lying on my back, paws apart, being scratched on the tummy with loving hands. Sandy ( a Miss Nevada and Singer ) was welcoming and unafraid. Michael ( A Master Chef and Drummer ) fascinated me with cooking tips and hints AND they both allowed me to join in the fun, at will.

The time flew by and then Sandy Kastel thanked me for being on her show and our visit was, sadly, over. I glanced at my ( Custom Made ) Rolex and to my amazement, I had been on the air forty-five minutes. I guess the old saying is true. ‘Insert Old saying here.”

So, if you are looking for some fun, listen in to this show and I guarantee that you will get some or I will send you your money back, no questions asked. ( BTW The Show is Free ) But if it were not, it would be worth it.

Thank you Tom Mazzetta for making this happen!

While I’m at it here’s a “Shout Out” to Allen Nechy, my bookie.

Let it ride

Kip Addotta

First place is always a fix! Second place, you have to earn!

The Fix

Assuming!

10/07/2014 — 7 Comments

assuming

I don’t have to use the old saying about “Assume” let’s talk about it!

People and I’m afraid, even I sometimes assume. It is easier to assume than to ask and people tend to be lazy about everything!

For instance, in my contracts with promoters I had one Rider. It said “Be advised that the correct spelling of Kip’s name is Kip Addotta!” This is the only thing I asked for and, even though, it was right there in front of them, more times than not, people would spell it Kip Adotta! This has alway been exasperating, to me.

Even if the Rider was not there, one would think that people would simply pick up the phone and call my representatives and ask! But no! Either they felt embarrassed to ask, didn’t think of it, didn’t care enough or assumed the spelling in a typo. The solution is a simple one! I must get myself in the habit of reading the blog before I upload it! This will make Courtney (My girl who proofs the blogs long after I have posted them) My bad!

Know this! In life, there are no small matters! Yes, everything is important and everything must be considered! If you do not, you will end up as an “Also Ran.” I make every effort to avoid assumption. I’m, right now, determined to complete this blog with no misspelling or punctuation errors! As Courtney says, “Kip, if you want people to take you seriously you must bring your game up!” She is right and I am bringing my game up to par, God willing!

Wish me luck

I am Kip Addotta

Notice the spelling

Please comment on this @ my site, http://www.kipaddotta.com/

Unknown

As one goes through life, one will come across opportunities to do things for people!

If I do something that might be considered a “Good Deed” it is not! I never do anything for anyone, but myself! If you see or hear of me doing something for someone, know this! I am not doing it for them. I am doing it for myself because it makes ME feel good!

I have done countless things that make me feel good! The interesting part of this is that, without exception, the party or parties, of the second part always find a way to injure me, in some way, for it.

Recently, I met a man who I took an instant liking to. This is because he reminded me of my Uncle John, who I love. As I got to know this man he informed me that he was depressed because he had not worked at his trade in fifteen years. I asked him what his trade was and he told me that he was a Jeweler and that when he was in his home country of Bulgaria he made what he referred to as “Scary Money.” But, since he came to America he couldn’t seem to get things together because he had no connections. Up until he met me he was being supported by his Father in-law.

My heart went out to him! I thought and thought. Then, I came up with a solution!

I knew a party that has a business in Encino, CA. This party had a front area (Used as a reception area) that was not being utilized to its fullest. It had room to spare! I asked my “New Friend” if his father in-law might lend him the money to establish his own business within this glass front area on a heavily trafficked boulevard! He came to me and informed me that his father in-law agreed to front him the money and gave him a budget of $1200.00 a month.

I picked up this “New Friend” and took him to this location and introduced him to the owner. The, I took the owner aside and negotiated a rental agreement of $700.00 a month. When I informed my “New Friend” of this he was beside himself with joy.

He is now in business for himself and is already flourishing!

Yesterday, I was informed by the owner, that his new tenant was bad mouthing me and saying that I was not to be trusted and that I was an evil person! This has now put my “New Friend” in jeopardy of losing everything that I had arranged for him!

I will not intervene! To me, my “New Friend” is dead! and may he not rest In Peace!

I smiled and will chalk it up as a lesson well learned. However, I am inclined to never assist anyone again, even though I get great joy in doing so. I do not enjoy being made a fool of!

I am Kip Addotta and I am no longer a “Mark!”

Thank you, Oscar Wilde!

imagesWe the weasels of The American Corporation take no responsibility for the damage that we cause everyday! As a matter of fact, we find it amusing!

We make tremendous salaries and unwarranted bonuses because we can! And we do not enjoy being questioned about it especially after Noon on Thursdays, when we slither out of the office to languish in a bar drinking Vodka being paid for by our stock holders, we often take turns farting on a list of their names! Lucy always goes last because her farts are generally wet and cause stains! Poor girl! But she does, always, get the biggest laugh!

On a good Thursday afternoon, we perform sexual acts in the restrooms and sometime right there on the bar! We are a family!

Our Board Meetings are attended by Our CEO Dick Head, our H & R person, Miss Viper Tongue, our council Mrs. Stank of Goldfob and Goldfob, our accountant Ms. Dyke Spew of the firm Dewey Cheatem and How, our Beverage Manager, Little Mr, Lushmaker, our VP of Acquisitions Miss Anala Canalli, AKA Anal Canal who is capable of rolling up our prospectus and sliding the entire length of it into said Canal and, of course, our Head of Security and Press Secretary, Gino Musclenni who can fit his entire fist into the sphincters of each and every one of us during contract negotiations! We all consider it a perk!

And a special shout out to The Secretary Mrs. Long Story who keeps The Minutes of our meetings, thank you, Cory!

Me?

I’m Kip Addotta and it’s my turn in the barrel!

 

 

My Sex Life

10/02/2014 — 2 Comments

images

Sex is good! I practice it whenever the whim strikes me. My woman “It” is good at it too!

Over my life, I have run the gauntlet of sexual behavior and experimented and dabbled in most of its disciplines. From threesomes (I even wrote and recorded a song entitled “Threesome” on and in my ‘Live In The Slaw Lane’ album.) I have tried Bondage and Dominance, Cuckold and let you imagination run wild sex! And, yes, toys galore! The more the merrier! After all, you only go around threes times, in life.

After much research, I have settled in on simple, monogamous sex, as the Best!

“It” and I enjoy each other and are playful with our sex. She, in her Knight’s Armor and I in my Fryer Robes! As far as “Fifty Shades of Grey” is concerned, I have no need to read the book! I have helped my ladies live the book!

As far as a woman pleasuring me with Oral Sex, I tolerate it, but it is not my bag, the opposite is!

As, I’m sure, other men will attest, that the more excited “It” becomes, the more pleasure I experience. Us boys love to please the girls!

So, out with the toys, the candles, the clips, the edible underwear, handcuffs, gag balls and nostril expanders! It the simple pleasures for “It” and I!

I am Kip Addotta

The worst speller/punctuator on earth!