Reprinted with permission of Much Better Homes and Gardens
Kip Addotta lives in an authentic French Chateau
overlooking both the Hollywood Hills and Los Angeles
The foundation of the home was laid in 1935, and the structure was completed in 1937, with exterior coating done by Perma-Tex. Mr. Addotta acquired the estate in 1987 from a pipe salesman who was moving to Santa Fe.
The Kip Addotta Home
After an extensive refurbishing by Perma-Tex, Mr. Addotta, along with his cat, Harley, moved into the home in 1989.
A recluse, Kip Addotta is rarely seen, and then only when he appears at a window only to duck out of sight if someone is watching.
The pictures below were taken under an agreement that prohibits the shooting of, or writing about, certain sections of the home and grounds.
I can say that the house has nine bedrooms (each at least a thousand square feet), twelve bathrooms, a billiard room, bowling alley, steam room, sauna, two swimming pools, and an Olympic length lap pool. There is also a grand ballroom, now converted into a showroom for the car collection.
The gardens are extensive, including four fish ponds, a stocked fishing lake, and a shooting range, although Kip’s neighbors have discouraged him from using it. Instead, Kip uses The Beverly Hills Gun Club when he feels like target practice.
Kip Addotta’s Never-Before-Seen, Private Art Gallery
For the first time ever, Kip Addotta recently allowed the public to see his priceless and extensive art collection, pictured here in its entirety. The occasion was a fundraiser for Addotta’s favorite charity, Battered Chefs. The formal, black tie event feted attendees with champagne and corn dogs, while they were serenaded by strolling piano players. The event raised over $37,000 for the charity, after Addotta deducted the cost of the corn dogs.
Kip Addotta Car Collection
Over the years, Kip Addotta has built an impressive car collection.
After a ground-up restoration, each car is equipped with a telephone. So, when he gets a call, he has to run out to the garage.
Of all the vehicles he owns, Mr. Addotta’s favorite is, “The Black Widow.” Every day, after his workout, he climbs on her back and cruises up Mulholland Drive. He is a sport rider and says, “There is no better ride in the world than Mulholland Drive. Its hills and hair-pin turns are an ecstatic experience that everyone should know.”
Kip takes those turns with “The Widow” in third, and sometimes second, listing to the right and to the left as he snakes up the legendary road which offers breathtaking views of both Los Angeles and the San Fernando Valley.
Kip At His Desk
Kip Addotta wants to give something back. So, being concerned about all the flooding that has gone on in our country (and the many people driven from their homes), he is financing the construction of a great dam. The dam will begin construction next year, and will be the largest one ever built. Kip plans to name it after God. It will be called, “God Dam.”
Mr. Addotta is also working on his latest invention. Underwear with metal weights sewn into the bottom to keep them from creeping up our butts.
As if that weren’t enough, Kip Addotta is also contributing to a fund for animals that will enable him to personally spay and neuter every cat and dog in the nation. Of course, he will spare a few of each breed for breeding, so that there will always be enough to replace the pets that die.
With that done, Kip plans to move on to illegal immigration. He is planning to build a tunnel that leads into our country, makes a U-turn, and ends up emptying back out into Mexico, where the people, thinking they are in the U.S., will begin cleaning up their own country. By the time they realize what has happened, Mexico will be so nice they won’t want to leave.
After that is done, Mr. Addotta plans to open a halfway house for unwed mothers that will be located half way between his home and his favorite restaurant, Dan Tana’s.
Kip also works with children, hoping to teach every child how to play the drums, causing their parents to go quite mad!
Kip Addotta At The Piano
Kip enjoys playing his concert grand piano, and does so every evening when he has guests over. His small circle of friends includes Allen Nechy, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Johnny Depp, Bozo the Clown, and Britney Spears.
Currently, Mr. Addotta is composing an opera dedicated to the lives of Laurel and Hardy which will be titled, “The Fat and Skinny Story.” The lead characters will be played by Martin Short and Rosie O’Donnell.
His love for music is reflected in his plan to build a Catholic Church and school for accordion players. It will be called “Our Lady of Spain,” and will be located in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Kip was formally trained on the piano at The Juilliard School of Music, in Rockford, Illinois. It was at this piano that he composed his songs, “Wet Dream,” “Big Cock Roach,” “Life in the Slaw Lane,” “Hung Over All Over Again,” “My Baby Has to Have a Tattoo,” “Captain of the Sofa Team,” “It’s the Liquor,” “I’m So Miserable Without You, It’s Just Like Having You Around,” “My Baby’s In Jail,” “If I Were You, I Wouldn’t Be,” and many others.
View From Kip’s front door
When Kip enters his mansion from the front door, he wants a broad view of some of the things that please him and stir his senses. The sweeping, sensuous curves of his grand piano; the ancient chest containing not-so-ancient secrets; the gold carpet with its own tales never to be told; the beautifully intricate, hand-carved furniture; the spun-gold lampshades; the hand-woven lustrous drapes; the view across to his secret, very personal patio; and, of course, fresh flowers, replenished twice a day.
What thoughts these surroundings engender! Great melodic music to soothe his soul when needed: hot funky music to reflect and compliment his hot funky moods, and contemplative music when thinking through or refining a new project!
When Kip wants inspiration for a new direction, all he need do is open his ancient chest and browse through his myriad secrets. All stored over the years for reliving all varieties of memories, and full of ideas and thoughts too original to discard and so stored for future use.
When solitude is wanted, Kip crosses over the main room to his patio. No other human has been allowed here. There are plants and flowers from all parts of the world, artfully placed throughout so he can go to whatever climate or zone he is drawn to at any given time. In the desired zone, Kip thinks his most private thoughts and elaborates on his current creations.
Many people strive for, but few have achieved this kind of dedication.
Kip Relaxes By The Fire
Kip loves the fireplace, and uses it when people send him scripts to read.
After reading a script, he likes to tear it up, put it in the fire and sit by the fire to watch it burn.
While it is burning, he enjoys calling the author on the phone and saying things like, “This thing is smoking!”…”I’m telling you it’s on fire!” (And) “This script is sizzling!”
After burning a few scripts, he likes to have a martini nearby in case the fire needs reviving!
Burning people’s hopes and dreams is Kip’s only vice, and can be forgiven given all the good work he does in other areas.
Dinny Paints On The Patio
Dinny Chisholm, Kip’s lady friend, enjoys painting on one of the patios at the Addotta mansion.
She is a watercolor artist, painting’s most difficult discipline.
Always one for a challenge, when in the mood, she makes it even more difficult by painting watercolors while under water. Doing this and keeping the colors from running is almost impossible!
Some of Dinny’s work has been displayed at the Beverly Hills ‘Affaire in the Gardens’, an invitation-only semi-annual event.
The Living Room
Kip’s living room is a place to relax and let your hair down. A place for informal chat, and maybe the occasional cocktail at the bar.
Kip has deliberately designed the room to let people know that they can be themselves, and that they don’t have to put on airs. To this end, Kip insists that ash trays, ketchup, mustard, and pickles are always close at hand, and the stains of same can be seen if you look closely at this picture.
So, if you ever have the privilege to visit the compound, put your feet up and loosen your belt. You are to be comfortable, like it or not, because you are in the presence of Kip Addotta: a simple man, a man of service, a nice guy – a funny guy!
Kip Addotta is a voracious reader, and also a speed reader. He once read the complete annotated works of Arthur Conan Doyle while taking a leak in the pool house.
Biographies are his favorite reading. The lives of Charlie Chaplin, Kirk Douglas, Abraham Lincoln, Daffy Duck, and Tiger woods, to name a few.
Kip also likes to be read to, at bedtime. His lady friend, Dinny, will sit at his bedside and read the classics until Kip falls into a deep, peaceful slumber.
Then, she places the open book over his face, so that his snoring is muted.
Kip Addotta’s Bedroom
His master bedroom is cool and relaxing. Simple, yet elegant! Sparse, yet plush! Austere and decorative at the same time. A place for Kip to sleep and play, frolic, eat late night snacks, and watch movies.
This room is simple and straightforward, much like Kip himself. He is easy to be around, and he wants his home to be easy to be in.
Every morning, he is awakened at six-thirty by his man, Charles, who brings in oatmeal with raisins, orange juice, strong black coffee, and the morning paper.
After breakfast, Kip slips into his workout togs and (eschewing the elevator) takes the stairs down to the gym. He does a full upper and lower body regimen, and then hops onto the back of The Black Widow and goes for his morning ride.
The master bedroom is the only room Mr. Addotta returns to several times a day. It is the hub of his life, where he will close the door and pace back and forth, and go over his ideas. A phone call is made, and then, more pacing!
Kip Addotta Private Bowling Alley
An avid bowler, Mr. Addotta has installed two lanes in the basement of his home, and can be found there almost every evening, whether alone or with friends. He plays game after game, and has worked his way up to an average of four twenty-eight.
Although his bowling is tolerable, he has never really mastered the task of keeping score. When asked about this, he is dismissive and says, “What the hell, it’s my house, my alley, and my ball. I do not have to be an accountant to enjoy the game!”
Kip Addotta at Warner Brothers
Kip leaving his dressing trailer at Warner Brothers, where he is shooting, “Transporter III” with Jason Statham.
Kip plays the role of The Transporter’s mechanic (Oscar) in another action-filled “Transporter” movie! Oscar gets involved in the action when taking Jason Statham on a shakedown ride after a tune-up. While driving, Oscar and Statham are confronted by a car full of bad guys, and Oscar gives Jason a demonstration of his own driving prowess.
Kip is a wheel man in the true sense of the word. Before show business, Kip was a professional driving instructor for Interpol. He says he misses those care-free days when all he had to worry about was having a good time, and keeping it between the fences.
Those were the halcyon days of his youth. When the girls were as innocent as he, and people could be taken at their word. Now, in Hollywood, he must be on-guard at every moment. Never knowing what evil lurks around every corner.
Ironically, the scene he is about to shoot will be about truth, and how it will save you. Then, he will die in a gun battle with Jason Statham at his side.