Archives For Kip Quotes

Original Kip Addotta quotes

Why do men have nipples? Just In Case!


I know very little about this, so, I will speak at length!

People Who Talk

If you love someone, miss no opportunity to express it!


Ask someone a question and watch their eyes. If their eyes go up and to the left, they’re trying to think up a lie. If their eyes go up and to the right, they’re trying to remember the truth!

How To Tell If They’re Lying

If she comes home at three in the morning with her panty hose on backwards, chances are…

Is Your Partner Cheating on you?

I do not drink alcohol because I’ve realized that I’m as annoying when I’m sober as I am when I drink. So why waste the money?


Proof Of Life

05/14/2014 — 1 Comment


One last thing for the day.

I call it, “My Damn Blog.” Only because it’s something I promised myself that I would do, every day! I took on the work and I am doing the work. When this day’s blog is done I feel good about keeping my word. However, like working out, I am happy when it’s done. I am lazy!

At the same time, I can’t stand sitting around doing nothing. It’s the same with vacations. I don’t like them. I have traveled the world many times over and, “There’s no place like home!” When I was in Paris I liked the Eiffel Tower right where it was, way over there. When I’m in New York I like the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty right where they are, way over there. I have no need to see them up close or have my picture taken standing in front of them.

It’s the same with people. If I meet someone of note I never ask them if I can have a picture taken with them. I have no need for a “Proof of life” thing. It will be a memory that I can and do cherish but I don’t need a picture of it. If someone asks to have a picture taken with me I oblige. But, it seems like I’m being taken advantage of.

I’ve never had a “Rogues Gallery’ on one of the walls of my home. When I see one I think to myself, “This person wants me to know that they are important because they are pictured with important or well-known people.” I am not impressed! Rather, I think it and they are pitiful. They have had the experience of meeting someone and they felt the need to take that extra nick out of that individual.

I do not believe that people who are famous owe me anything. I have heard so many people say, ‘Well they wanted to be famous so they have to pay that little extra by giving me their autograph or taking a picture with me!” When I met Al Pacino, I felt honored that we had a four or five minute exchange. I didn’t even tell him that I was a big fan, although, I am. I told him a story and he enjoyed the story and that was more than enough for me.

It’s the same when someone approaches me. I pray they don’t go into the “I’m a big fan of yours” mantra. It embarrasses me and I want to get away from them. However I would be delighted to have a conversation with them without all the bowing and scraping. But, that’s me!

I am Kip Addotta, aka Uncle Kippy

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I have had my health issues. At sixty-nine I have the eberjy and the prostrate of a nineteen year old, if you know what I mean. Women life longer than men, partly, because they see the doctor more often.

I have wonderful doctors. I see one of them two months, one every three months and one every six months. I have been with them for a long time and we have become friends. As far as money is concerned, they hardly ever charge me and when they do, it’s not nearly enough. This is because I make then laugh. Being of good humor has great benefits.

I am not saying that I tell them jokes. I do not. One must be careful about telling jokes. Telling a joke interrupts conversation. It’s like when you’re at a party and someone tells you a joke. Now you have to wait until the joke is over and, most of the time, fain laughter.  It’s like when you’re at a party having a interesting conversation with someone and, all of a sudden, a magician walks up and says, “Pick a card.”

I want to grab them by the neck and choke the life from them. When I’m on stage I have a license to ell jokes. When I am not, I do not!

“Men see sex as a privilege, women see sex as an entitlement.”

“If you live to Seventy-Two, you will have been alive for Twenty Five Thousand Days. Don’t wast them.”

How many days will you live?