Why I Didn’t Change My Name When I Got Married!

09/10/2014 — 1 Comment

Why I Didn't Change My Name When I Got Married!

I’m not against it, but why would a woman marry a man and, then, not pay him the courtesy of taking his last name! I know Movie Stars do it, but I’m not talking about Movie Stars here!

Amber Kathleen Ryan Hmmm. I guess, because I too have had some hilarious run-ins with civil servants when I applied for passports or applied for work from time to time. But then, I’ve had so many names, they always suspect me of something. And… my daughter is running for school board using her maiden name instead of her married name and it just seems like the thing to do to avoid confusion. And I’m a feminist. And just in the mood, I guess. (Or, perhaps, your calling the wife ‘disrespectful’ for not taking someone else’s name, set off some alarms from the old days… my old days.)

Scott Shimamoto She’s not taking his last name because she plans to take half of his assets when they get divorced. She’s not THAT selfish!!! Haha

Craig Matteson I have friends who were not related bit both had the last name Monson. He always says he took her last name.

Kip Addotta Kristin Pearson Samet, you are correct and I stand corrected! I HAVE never thought of it! BTW, not that it matters, but my former wife has always kept my name. Your comment made me realize why. It must be because of our children! Thank you for teaching me something! You’re tops!

Julie Savay- Ross For me, I added his last name onto mine…I already had a thriving career and was well known by my original name so by adding on the Ross, I never had an issue with identity in business or with the press. Its all good

Kristin Pearson Samet Kip, thank you – ever the gentleman are you.

Morley Shulman Interestingly enough, when John married Yoko, he changed his middle name to John Winston Ono Lennon.

Kristin Pearson Samet So, Kip, this begs the question: if a woman doesn’t take her fiancee’s name, does that mean he gets to skip buying her an engagement ring? What’s fair is fair, right?

Kip Addotta Kristin Pearson Samet, I guess not (Hanging my head)

Morley Shulman I asked my girlfriend if she would change her name if we got married and she asked me what I preferred. I told her whatever made her happiest. Even Shakespeare said “what’s in a name?”

Kip Addotta Morley Shulman, Like YOU have a girlfriend!

Morley Shulman I never said she had any taste… just that I have one!

Melissa Schickel first of all, I know a man who actually took his wife’s last name. Secondly my father was the only male in his family. I am the last sole survivor of that family. Since my brother passed away in Vietnam and had no children I am the last schickel. so I have often thought about that, and have often thought that I probably would not change my last name because I would want that legacy to carry on since there would be no one else to actually carried on other than me. for that reason I would probably not take the husband’s last name

Kristin Pearson Samet awww, Kip, I was just trying to save you men a few sheckles !

Brett S. Harrison That actually doesnt bother. What defines a marriage is love not whose last name you have. What bothers me is when they take 2 last names, like “Kathy Wepner-Goldberg”. Crap or get off the pot

Kip Addotta Brett S. Harrison, Valid point, Brett! And thank you for not cussing. You’re a good man!

Brett S. Harrison Thank you and you’re welcome Kipalah. And I see no point to cussin.

Gary Schoonover My wonderful wife has worked very hard and become quite successful in her field of business and when we got married a couple of years ago she said she wanted to keep her name for that reason. I told her that was absolutely fine with me.

Walt Kaufmann Right on Kipster. Outstanding point!

Narda Enander At this point new laws requiring a woman to have paperwork for every name she has ever used to get or renew a drivers license. Even though I have carried my married name since 1972 I have to prove it by providing my birth certificate, marriage license and even my divorce papers. So heaven forbid some poor woman married more than once. It’s as far as I am concerned the only real discrimination law. Even if I did marry again I would nit change my name again.

Kip Addotta Narda Enander, interesting how a simple and honest question, by me has proven to be very educational for me! You bring great information! Thank you Narda!

Narda Enander Kip, not only are you a hysterical comedian but you are also intelligent and astute as well.

Kip Addotta Narda Enander, I am and have worked extremely hard to become, in my opinion, the finest, living, stand-up Comedian, however, my real passion is my family and information from people like you! With only 11 years of schooling, I am passionate about information! Without it I cannot do my work. People want to send me jokes. I do not want jokes! I want to learn from my friends and I am having a wonderful day! Thank you again, Narda!!

Amber Kathleen Ryan And why shouldn’t the husband take on the last name of the wife instead?

Kip Addotta Amber Kathleen Ryan, My dear, all that matters in motive! And BTW, what is your motive for asking this question?

Amber Kathleen Ryan Hmmm. I guess, because I too have had some hilarious run-ins with civil servants when I applied for passports or applied for work from time to time. But then, I’ve had so many names, they always suspect me of something. And… my daughter is running for school board using her maiden name instead of her married name and it just seems like the thing to do to avoid confusion. And I’m a feminist. And just in the mood, I guess. (Or, perhaps, your calling the wife ‘disrespectful’ for not taking someone else’s name, set off some alarms from the old days… my old days.)

Scott Shimamoto She’s not taking his last name because she plans to take half of his assets when they get divorced. She’s not THAT selfish!!! Haha

Craig Matteson I have friends who were not related bit both had the last name Monson. He always says he took her last name.

Kip Addotta Amber Kathleen Ryan, This is a very honest and insight flu bomment and I thai you for it! BTW, I am a Masculinist! So, I understand!

Kristin Pearson Samet It would be difficult for a man to understand the identity crisis that changing one’s name creates. I hate having to use three names on my facebook profile so people can figure out who I am. Had I to do it over, I would have kept my original name and never have to go through that “Kristin, who?” ever again ! Think about it like this: In general, for women, a man offering an engagement ring is a sign of love and commitment. In general, for men, your taking his last name is an outward grand gesture that reflects your love and commitment to him. Men don’t get the hype over engagement rings. Women don’t get the hype of changing names. Call it even.

Melissa Schickel, You know Kip, I also wonder, doesn’t the practice of taking the man’s name go back to the days of when a woman became a man’s “property”? Hence he paid a dowery for her and she then became as much a part of what he “owned” very much like his land, etc.? Isn’t that really where the practice originated? It was a way of distinguishing whose woman belonged to what man in the days of the earliest settlements. I know there are several countries where the woman do not take the husband’s name. I am fairly certain Mexico is one of them. India I believe is another.

There are also a couple of other factors at play. In general, men don’t change their names once they are married. So contemplating the meaning of a name and the identity crisis that can come with a new name is foreign territory to them. Because they don’t have to deal with it, many just don’t understand how it could be a big deal. However, this is an issue to be seriously contemplated by any couple planning to marry. Until this is discussed, someone’s going to be very upset and it’s not the way to start off a marriage. Just my honest two cents.

One response to Why I Didn’t Change My Name When I Got Married!

  1. Tommy Joseph 09/11/2014 at 21:41

    Kip, I would take my wife’s last name if I ever got married. Let’s say her name is Schlamansky. So now instead of Joseph, my last name would be Schlamansky too. That way, if we ever have a falling out and I go nuts and kill a bunch of people, the Schlamansky name will be sullied in the process. But you can’t trust the media – they’d probably print my original name anyway. There must be some positive to taking your partner’s last name. I am trying to look for positives in things these days.

    TJ

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