Entertainment Farting

07/24/2014 — 9 Comments

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Historical comment on the ability to fart at will is observed as early as Saint Augustine’s The City of God (5th century AD). Augustine mentions men who “have such command of their bowels, that they can Fart continuously at will, so as to produce the effect of singing.” Intentional Farting and its use as entertainment for others appears to have been somewhat well known in pre-modern Europe, according to mentions of it in medieval and later literature, including Rabelais.

Le Pétomane (“the Fartomaniac”) was a famous French performer in the 19th century who, as well as many professional Fart Masters before him, did Farting impressions and held shows. The performer Mr. Methane carries on le Pétomane’s tradition today. Also, a 2002 film Thunderpants revolves around a boy named Patrick Smash who has an ongoing Farting problem since he was a newborn baby. He eventually overcame his problems and fulfilled his dreams including being an astronaut.

Farts are caused by trapped air, which can come from many sources. Some of it is air that we have swallowed while chewing or drinking. Some air is caused by gas seeping into our intestines from our blood, and some gas is produced by chemical reactions in our intestines or bacteria living in our guts. A typical fart is composed of about 59 percent nitrogen, 21 percent hydrogen, 9 percent carbon dioxide, 7 percent methane and 4 percent oxygen. Only about one percent of a fart contains hydrogen sulfide gas and mercaptans, which contain sulfur, and the sulfur is what makes farts stink. Farts make a sound when they escape due to the vibrations of the rectum. The loudness may vary depending on how much pressure is behind the gas, as well as the tightness of the sphincter muscles.

The more sulfur-rich your diet is, the more terrible your farts will smell. Some foods contain more sulfur than others, which is why eating things like beans, cabbage, cheese, soda, and eggs can cause gas that will peel the paint off the walls!

The average person produces about half a liter of farts every single day, and even though many women won’t admit it, women do fart just as often as men. In fact, a study has proven that when men and women eat the exact same food, woman tend to have even more concentrated gas than men. If a person were to fart continuously for 6 years and 9 months, they would produce gas with the equivalent energy of an atomic bomb.

Though farts come out with varying velocities, we don’t typically smell them for about 10-15 seconds after letting them rip. This is because it takes that long for the odor to reach your nostrils.

Doctors disagree on whether or not holding in a fart is bad for your health. Some experts think that farts are a natural part of your digestive system, so holding them in won’t harm you. Others think that at best, holding them in can cause gas, bloating, and other uncomfortable symptoms, and at worst, repressing gas can cause hemorrhoids or a distended bowel.

While most cultures feel that farts should be suppressed in polite company, there are some cultures that not only don’t mind letting them fly in public, but they actually enjoy it. An Indian tribe in South America called the Yanomami fart as a greeting, and in China you can actually get a job as a professional fart-smeller! In ancient Rome, Emperor Claudius, fearing that holding farts in was bad for the health, passed a law stating that it was acceptable to break wind at banquets.

As stated above, the methane and hydrogen in bacteria-produced farts make your gas highly flammable. This is why some people think it’s a fun party trick to hold a lighter up to their bums and let one fly; doing so produces a big burst of flame, but is obviously very dangerous. In rare cases, a build-up of flammable gasses in the intestines have caused explosions during intestinal surgeries!

It’s hard to believe that the tiny termite is responsible for a great deal of our global warming problem on the planet. Termites fart more than any other animal, which produces methane gas. According to the Environmental Protection Agency, “Global emissions of methane due to termites are estimated to be between 2 and 22 Tg per year, making them the second largest natural source of methane emissions. Methane is produced in termites as part of their normal digestive process, and the amount generated varies among different species.”

Even if you clenched your butt and held them in all day, the gas will escape once you relax. What’s more relaxing than sleep?

Here’s proof that you can’t escape passing wind, even after you’re dead! Up to three hours after the body dies, gasses continue to escape from both ends of the digestive tract, resulting in burping or farting noises. This phenomenon is due to muscles contracting and expanding before rigor mortis sets in.

I am kip Addotta

An admitted Master Farter

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Comment on this at my web site, http://www.kipaddotta.com/

Thank you!

9 responses to Entertainment Farting

  1. Dinny Chisholm 07/24/2014 at 01:06

    No comment.

  2. Tommy Joseph 07/24/2014 at 04:06

    This is so incredible it can’t be mere coincidence. Here you are giving a master lecture on one of my all time favorite topics while only last week a friend sent me the following article he got from somewhere on the web. By the way, I actually agree with the article to the degree that the joy and merriment wrought by Farts and their discussion – even for the occasional, “Eww, this topic is too disgusting for me” crowd – far out weighs any negatives that might be associated with the historically enduring activity. Yes, Farting is good for you in pehaps more ways than we know.

    TJ

  3. Tommy Joseph 07/24/2014 at 04:08

    Whoops, sorry, got so wrapped up in my own words I forgot to include the article. Here it is.

    //////////////////////

    The next time someone at your office lets out a “silent but deadly” emission, maybe you should thank them. A new study at the University of Exeter suggests that smelling farts could prevent disease and even cancer.

    The study, published in the Medicinal Chemistry Communications journal, found that flatulence could be a key factor in treating diseases.

    “Although hydrogen sulfide gas is well known as a pungent, foul-smelling gas in rotten eggs and flatulence, it is naturally produced in the body and could in fact be a health-care hero with significant implications for future therapies for a variety of diseases,” Dr. Mark Wood, a professor at the University of Exeter, said in a statement.

    While hydrogen sulfide gas is harmful in large doses, smelling it in small amounts could reduce the risk of cancer, strokes, heart attacks, arthritis, and dementia by preserving the body’s mitochondria. Dr. Matt Whiteman, a University of Exeter professor who worked on the study, said in a statement that researchers are even replicating the natural gas to reap its health benefits.

  4. Tommy Joseph 07/24/2014 at 05:34

    Thanks, Kip. I’m telling you now, put a Fart essay on a web page that has the capacity to count the views, and put it on that page with 20 other topics chosen at random, and the secretly counted views will prove that the Fart essay draws more attention than any other topic. I really believe that. Well, I’m sure I could think of some good competition. But the topic of Farts would rank high in views. There may not be a single response, but the views will be out of sight.

    TJ

  5. Melissa Schickel 07/29/2014 at 17:48

    I have seen it all now. There is a marker commercial that says their markers get their wonderful scents from, you guessed it, fruits that fart. That’s entertainment folks!! I will never be able to eat a blueberry the same way again – not that I was able to after seeing Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, but that is a whole different nightmare.

  6. Melissa Schickel 07/29/2014 at 17:57

    My grandmother was a masterful farter! She of course always had the grace enough to wait until we were in a very public setting before she would very loudly do so and then turn to me in a very scornful way and say, “Melissa, how rude of you!” to which I would respond with out and out laughter. Of course that only made the passersby think even more that it was I who had dealt it!!

    I think this is also why when she took me to see Blazing Saddles for the first time I nearly fell out of my seat in tears laughing so hard at the campfire farting scene. I thought that was the funniest thing I had ever saw in my young childhood. Of course moviegoers were more astonished at my reaction, and the fact that a 9 year old was in an R rated movie.

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