Preparing for a performance is much like training for The Heavy Weight Championship of the world. Lots of road work, sparing with a rather nasty Kangaroo named Dixie. (The females are always more dangerous) and watching ones diet (Lots of red Ostrich meat) and promotion.
The reporters show up almost every day with their cameras and loaded questions. “How you feeling, Champ?” Like a bull, in springtime, I reply. “The audience says you’re too old and past your prime. What do you have to say about it?” I keep telling you people that I am the greatest, I will always be the greatest!
I’m performing with God on my side. When you put yourself in God’s hands you don’t worry about these things. Failure is not an option! It will go the distance.
Kip’s trainer, Tommy Brennick steps up. “His body is sound, and he will be profound, when the sun goes down, he’ll take them down town, there won’t be a frown, he will retain the crown, down town!
“Kip, what will be your weight on performance day?” Well, I’ve still got six weeks before show time. I’m six foot two inches tall and I will go on stage at two hundred and twelve pounds, my perfect performing weight! I’m faster, smarted and more dangerous than ever before and I predict that it will be the greatest match in the history of the science!
“Do you think the crowd will get their monies worth?” My crowd is made up of wise guys, street people, professionals and malcontents. I will not let them down!
At this point, Kip’s manager, Greg Carpenter, raises his hand and says, “There will be no more questions! The champ needs his rest! Thank you for coming, people!”
Hollywood Globe Courier