I have never had the questionable gift of being able to lie! When I try to lie it seems like I am. I have made the remark that “The only time people believe me is when I’m lying to them!” To me that is a joke. I find it humorous. And I have a sort of envy for people who can lie. I have the terrible habit of telling the truth and that has always gotten me into trouble.
However, I am acquiring the ability to say nothing at all. Thank God!
My tongue is raw from biting it. I would make a terrible witness! (Depending on what side I’m testifying for) I do have the ability to keep a secret. Keeping a secret is saying nothing. I can do that!
I can use words like, “Interesting, fascinating and hmm.” Gossip is not on the menu. It is not a saintly virtue, on my part. I simply get no kick out of divulging someone’s business! Their finances, health or marital issues.
I am gullible! I believe most of what people tell me because my life is easier that way. If you say that you are a Brain Surgeon, so be it. I will, in turn, introduce you as such. However, you will not be working on “My” brain. I need referrals for that! I know that all of this is easily mocked and will be the butt of many jokes. Fine! Have at it.
I am Kip Addotta and I believe that I am telling the truth!
Now, I will get back to thumb twiddleing!