Lying

08/17/2014 — 8 Comments

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I have never had the questionable gift of being able to lie! When I try to lie it seems like I am. I have made the remark that “The only time people believe me is when I’m lying to them!” To me that is a joke. I find it humorous. And I have a sort of envy for people who can lie. I have the terrible habit of telling the truth and that has always gotten me into trouble.

However, I am acquiring the ability to say nothing at all. Thank God!

My tongue is raw from biting it. I would make a terrible witness! (Depending on what side I’m testifying for) I do have the ability to keep a secret. Keeping a secret is saying nothing. I can do that!

I can use words like, “Interesting, fascinating and hmm.” Gossip is not on the menu. It is not a saintly virtue, on my part. I simply get no kick out of divulging someone’s business! Their finances, health or marital issues.

I am gullible! I believe most of what people tell me because my life is easier that way. If you say that you are a Brain Surgeon, so be it. I will, in turn, introduce you as such. However, you will not be working on “My” brain. I need referrals for that! I know that all of this is easily mocked and will be the butt of many jokes. Fine! Have at it.

I am Kip Addotta and I believe that I am telling the truth!

Now, I will get back to thumb twiddleing!

8 responses to Lying

  1. Tommy Joseph 08/17/2014 at 20:15

    Kip, I too have trouble lying. In fact, I don’t lie. I never let the habit develop. I am the world’s most honest man. Please believe me. Or don’t, have it your way.

    Your reasons for you being honest are your own although some are shared by me. But I have long attributed my non-lying ways to two things: (1), Being too lazy to lie, and (2), being afraid that I wouldn’t be good enough at it to pull it off.

    My early efforts at not lying were just that – efforts. But over time the good habit stuck and I became a full-time non liar, which is where I stand today. I am a lazy person, and telling lies is hard work – once you start you can’t stop. Even those who make lying look easy are struggling to do it. Struggling is for fools. Which does not mean I cannot be a fool at other things. I am a fool in many ways. And that is no lie.

    TJ

  2. Most of what passes for “news” are lies. Do not read, listen to or watch the “news”. Most of it is fake. Trust me, I know. The Emperor isn’t wearing any clothes.

    • Tommy Joseph 08/19/2014 at 03:43

      Al, what makes me sick is spoon fed news. People don’t know what to talk about, so they turn to the news. Now they won’t feel left out at the water cooler.

      I read the news. I scan the propaganda ever so briefly. I am aware of it but waste no time with it. I buy two papers each day. I take them home and sit down and quickly go through them for headlines that I find interesting or entertaining or maybe even informative. I tear those pages out and create little magazine to be read in my spare time.

      By the time I create my magazine, even on an off day, what with the puzzles and the sports page (the most honest section in the paper), and whatever else I’ve torn out, I will have more readable information than any $6.00 magazine on the market. I am telling you this because I know what you are saying and I agree with you. But not everyone is the same. I read the papers but not the news. I do not chase the news. Real news come to us, not the other way around. So, when I do my paper routine, I am not so much looking for “news”, I am looking for entertainment in all it’s varied forms.

      TJ

  3. STEVE EPSTEIN 08/19/2014 at 07:43

    My friends used to think I couldn’t lie. They extended that to poker and they thought because I couldn’t lie that I couldn’t bluff. They were wrong & I always left our poker games with a fuller wallet.

  4. Susie Doing 08/27/2014 at 14:29

    I too, dislike lying. I prefer telling the truth. It saves me from having to back-peddle later on and try to remember what i said. I do however love to exagerate the truth. For instance,if I hit a small pothole on the way home from work, it becomes a large crater and I should bring a lawsuit against the city. ( I only exagerate MY OWN stories) When I say I’m having a “Fabulous day” it means I consider myself lucky to be alive considering all i’ve put myself through.
    Have a great day my friend. (((HUG))) <<<<<<<<<< (That's the truth with NO exageration)

  5. Tommy Joseph 08/28/2014 at 04:05

    Susie:

    Everyone has their own reasons for not lying.

    Your reason for not lying is it’s too much trouble.

    Kip’s reason for not lying is he was never blessed with the questionable gift of being able to lie.

    My reason for not lying is that I am the world’s most honest man. Swear to God. Come on, you know I wouldn’t lie about something like that.

    Just kidding. My reason for not lying is the same as yours – too much work – plus I’m just not very good at it and am in no mood for practice. Besides, I really am the world’s most honest man. Thank you.

    TJ

  6. How do we know you all aren’t lying about not lying?

    • Tommy Joseph 08/30/2014 at 01:41

      Al, I doubt sincerely that anyone to whom I have said, “I never lie”, actually believes me – even though I am telling the truth. Now, I am not saying I have never lied. I am not saying I will not for a certainly lie in the future. I am saying that I currently do not lie. Not only do I not lie, I have purposely arranged my life to live as close to the ground as possible (without sinking all the way through), owning as little as possible, certainly never more than I can afford – and have arranged it that way for the purpose of putting myself in position to need to lie less than the average person. Plus, as I openly admit, it’s just too much work.

      Now, slightly deviating, but really on the same topic: People are put in prison all the time for drug use. When asked why this must be, the law says it is because people who use drugs will steal to get them. In other words, the real crime is not the drug, it’s living beyond one’s means. When people think they need more than they really do, when their desire to own more things moves them to act unethically in business or in general, then they are as dangerous as any drug addict, because they are in fact addicts themselves.

      Thanks for listening to my sermon, Al

      TJ

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