I Must Have Balance
For me, lack of balance in things is a huge flaw. I must have balance. For example, if I have a car with a large noticeable dent on one side and can’t afford to fix it, I’d rather pay someone less to put a dent on the other side, just to balance it out.
Physical flaws don’t bother me as much when there is balance. The other day for instance. I was watching tv. I lay there closing one eye and opening the other, testing the relative vision of each. My left eye is stronger and has clearer vision than my right eye. But it was not the weakness of my right eye that bothered me, it was the lack of balance.
I tried all sorts of tricks to improve the vision, if only temporarily. I twisted my eye lids, rubbed my eyes vigorously, squinted, blinked repeatedly, the whole nine yards. Nothing worked. Then I decided to toy around with my left eye to distort the vision so it was as bad as my right eye. It worked. But only briefly. If I went to a doctor and was told my right eye could not be improved, I might ask him to reduce the sight of my left eye to balance things out. It it wasn’t too bad I might do that. Anyway, it doesn’t have to be an operation, it could be a lens to reduce the vision so it perfectly matches my weaker eye. Balance.
Even now, earlier actually, typing this note, I looked up and noticed the second paragraph was longer than the first. Way too long. It disturbed me to the point where I went up and split the paragraph into two matching halves. I can’t say it enough – balance means everything to me.
But of course there is a limit. For example, if I lost my left arm I would not be able to grow it back. The only way to achieve balance would be to have my right arm amputated at the exact same spot as the left. Then I’d have balance.
But I probably wouln not go that far. Having at least one arm means something in this world. But with other less important stuff – like a car with a huge dent on one side and the other side is normal, or an atrophied arm on one side of the body and a normal arm on the other – I would pay to have a dent put on the normal side of the car, and my good arm surgically reduced to the same dimensions as the withered one, just to even them out – that is how much balance means to me.